The Ellipses...

2010-05-18T11:04:00.001-07:00

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More Snow...

2009-04-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

April Blizzard Day One

2009-04-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

Tenderness in Co.

2009-03-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

Caribou Ruins

2009-02-22T15:30:00.000-08:00

Baseball is Here

2009-02-18T08:58:00.001-08:00

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Originally uploaded by monarchjunior

Fantasy Baseball team!

Pictures in the Sun of a beautiful Morning

2009-02-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

New Room

2009-02-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

Pictures from Christmas

2009-02-03T18:43:00.001-08:00

2008-12-14T11:10:00.001-08:00

It has been a while. What a month!!!! The trip back home was amazing, and I am so looking forward to coming back. Before I do that I get to go to Portland to see my dear dear friends!!!!

Finals knocked me off my block, but went well. Grades will hopefully be posted next week. I am nervous but hopefully I will do better this time around :)

Wanted to post this article. Students for Peace and Justice came across this movement in Chicago, and I wrote a letter of solidarity to them last week. IT was a success and a victory. Just goes to show us all, we can make change. Not only can we, but it is our responsibility to create the change we need in this world.

Much peace and blessings to you all.

Victory at Republic!

Lee Sustar reports on the workers' big win in a factory occupation that made headlines across the U.S. and inspired union members and activists everywhere.

December 11, 2008

Supporters of workers at Republic Windows & Doors picket the Bank of America building in Chicago (Nicholas Kamm | AFP)Supporters of workers at Republic Windows & Doors picket the Bank of America building in Chicago (Nicholas Kamm | AFP)

WITH A unanimous vote, workers at the Republic Windows & Doors plant in Chicago ended their six-day factory occupation late on December 10 after Bank of America and other lenders agreed to fund about $2 million in severance and vacation pay as well as health insurance.

"Everybody feels great," said a tired but beaming Armando Robles, president of United Electrical, Radio and Machine Workers (UE) Local 1110.

Melvin Maclin, the local's vice president, agreed. "I feel wonderful," he said. "I feel validated as a human being. Everybody is so overjoyed. This is significant because it shows workers everywhere that we do have a voice in this economy. Because we're the backbone of this country. It's not the CEOs. It's the working people."

Pointing, he continued, "See that sign up there? Without us, it would just say 'Republic,' because we make the windows and doors. This shows that you can fight--and that you have to fight."

The settlement was a resounding victory for union members who were told a little more than a week earlier that the factory would be closed in less than three day's time--and that, contrary to federal law, they would get no severance pay.

So to pressure the company to make good on what it owed them, the workers voted to stay put after the plant ceased production on December 5.

By deciding to occupy their factory--a tactic used by labor in the 1930s, but virtually unknown in this country since--the Republic workers sparked a solidarity movement that forced one of the biggest banks in the U.S. to pay two months of wages and health care, even though the bank had no legal obligation to do so.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

WHAT BEGAN as a resolute act of some 250 workers quickly became a national symbol of working-class resistance in a crisis-bound economy. Hundreds upon hundreds of union members and officials--not only from Chicago, but around the Midwest--came to the Republic factory to express their solidarity and bring donations of food and badly needed funds.

But support for the Republic struggle went beyond the ranks of organized labor. The fightback crystallized mass anger about the $700 billion bailout of Wall Street. Even though Bank of America--Republic's main creditor--is in line to receive $25 billion in taxpayer money, the bank refused to finance the 60 days' pay due to workers under the federal WARN Act if a plant closes without the two-month notice required under the law.

Democratic politicians, from President-elect Barack Obama down to Chicago aldermen, felt the pressure to declare their support for the struggle.

Press coverage was affected as well. For once, the media not only highlighted the issues in a labor struggle, but also used its resources to investigate the employer. The Chicago Tribune reported that Republic's main owner, Rich Gillman, was involved in the purchase of a nonunion window factory in Iowa to move to. Journalists also uncovered evidence that Bank of America refused repeated requests to extend more credit to Republic, despite its infusion of bailout money.

Thus, when UE decided to make Bank of America the target of a December 10 rally, there was a ready response--about 1,000 people turned out on short notice.

"Since we're down here in the financial district, let's do a little mathematics," said Rev. Gregory Livingston of Rainbow/PUSH. "Bank of America got $25 billion. Citibank got $25 billion. Republic workers got how much? Zero.

"That's why we're here in the financial district. It's where the money is. The people work, and guess whose money is in these banks? Guess whose money is in the market? Guess whose money is in their pockets? It's our money."

But what was noteworthy about the picket wasn't the anger against the banks, but a palpable sense of workers' power. Members of a dozen different unions were on hand, as were student groups, socialists and community groups, all inspired by the Republic workers' bold stand.

Larry Spivack, regional director of AFSCME Council 31, summed up the mood in his speech. "Look around you," he told the crowd, naming the main financial institutions nearby. "Who created all their wealth?" he asked--and was answered by the chant, "We did!" "Who has the power?" "We do!"

Spivack continued: "This is a beginning, like when the Haymarket struggle took place in 1886," a reference to the Chicago martyrs in the struggle for the eight-hour workday. He concluded with a shout, "Power to the workers!"

A few hours later, back at the Republic plant, after workers heard the terms of the agreement and voted, Bob Kingsley, the national director of organization for UE, made a similar point in assessing the victory:

The significance of this struggle for the labor movement is that at a time when millions of American workers are facing greater and greater economic turmoil, and with it more and more instances of unfairness, there needed to be a clear symbol of resistance.

What the workers at Republic are is the face of that resistance. They personify the challenge that the working class faces in today's economy, but they also symbolize the hope that if we, as workers, stick together, if we fight together, and if we're willing to push the limits, we can achieve incredible things. And their victory comes at a time when the labor movement needs it.

In this Life...

2008-11-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

Coming up to the weekend here. I will be home in 4 days. I am excited and a bit nervous to. Above everything else, i just feel an overwhelming amount of joy and peace. I was freaking out a bit as some people can tell you, but I realized tonight just how much of that I needed to let go of. I was so attatched to the anxiety, and didn't even give light to the fact that this is going to be amazing. It will trully be an amazing trip. I am really just happy, and excited. So in short MPLS here I come!!!! here is a song by the beautiful Donna the Buffalo... Thinking about it tonight, and how much these words mean to me, and how much the people I get to be with soon mean to me to. Much love, much love!

In this life, in this life, in this life
We leave a trail that's far and wide
Good or bad, bad or good
Our memories decide

There are some places where I've been
Where you can still see the wounds
Think to myself as I look at the scars
Just who do you think you are

Innocent, innocent no more
I saw what I saw and I shut the door
Innocent, innocent no more
I knew it was wrong but I did it some more

In '78 I went through a rude spell
I knew it was fate, but I couldn't really tell
I thought that this was the way it was always gonna be
I hated everyone and everyone hated me

In '88 I went through a great spell
I knew it was fate, but I couldn't really tell
I knew that this was the way I wanted it to be
I loved everyone and everyone loved me

Every action has a reaction
Every life has a life to lead
Every human needs a fancy reason
Why they should live or breathe

I sit here feeling sorry for myself
For one thing or another
I'm trying hard to blame somebody else
For the miseries that I've discovered

I make a wish over a boiling cauldron
That I pass only strengths onto the children
And may the spirit move me to laugh and to sing
And I won't be drowned by the little things

Until the day when there are no more desires
And I put out all my little fires
There's nothing left but a wishful song
And there will be no right or wrong

Until that day, until that day, until that day
Sights and sounds they'll get to me

Journey to Justice Pictures

2008-11-21T06:48:00.000-08:00

So my camera is really not a point and shoot camera... Last nights pictures were hard to get with all of the excitment and goings ons. But Blurry activism is stil activism right? The March went great! we had media coverage from newspapers to radio to television. The police left us alone except for one that I talked to about why we were marching for equality. He was cool with it and was fine. I sang Respect on the loud speaker( seem sot be the song of the week), and we chanted the night away.

The rally afterwards was wonderful to. Lots of good speakers, a video, and group community projects. I am going to start volunteering at the Bias Prevention Hotline, also at the hotline for sexual abuse victims.

Here are some photos...

Journey 2 Justice!

2008-11-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

Check out what we are doing tonight... Think of us and wear black if you can. Pictures will come afterward. Made too many signs to count last night, and I can't sleep, so much to think about with all that has been going on. Going to a training today before hand to be an official PeaceMaker... basically a liaison between the police, media, the crowds and the marchers... It's going to be great.

Journey to Justice!

A week in November of 2008

2008-11-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

What a week, what a week. It has been crazy, but wonderful to. Here is what I did....

Saturday the 8th of Novermber 2008

We had a fundraiser for Food not Bombs. It is a group of Naropa students who get together, go dumpster diving and collect donated food items, cook them and serve in a park by downtown. This fundraiser was held at a coffee shop/eatery like the acadia called The Burnt Toast. We had students play songs, and good times were had by all. They raised a good amount as well

Sunday the 9th of November 2008

We had an event called Resisting Empire. We had Boots Riley come and speak followed by Camilo Mejia. Camilo was the first individual in the Iraq war to refuse to go back and fight. He was imprisoned, and he wrote a book about his expirince and now is touring and talking to people about what he did over seas and why he is speaking out. It was heartbreaking it really was. He could barley look anyone in the eye, and the things he had to see and do were horrific.

Check out the web page if you would like... http://www.resistingempire.org/Fall_speaking_tour/Home.html

O.k. lets see... Let skip to Wednesday the 12th of November 2008

Students for peace and justice meeting. I have joined a group called Students for Peace and Justice. We are a coalition of students from CU and Naropa that call for action around peace and justice. We host resisting empire, help organize peace rallys and marches, talk out to the community, and look for anything else in which we can help make an impact.

Thursday November 13th 2008

Meeting for Taking back the Night. There have been sexualt assault casses happening in Boulder county lately, I mean public ones. Most sexual assult victims never report their story, 60 percent to exact go untold. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. If 60 percent aren't even being reported just imagine what that number would look like. And though they have gotten public attention in the BOulder area lately, most sexual assault victims know their attacker. 73 percdnt to be exact. Most are intimate partners at home, or situations of incest. So we got together with CU to talk about organizing a march and such for taking back the night. We will be holding that after the new year, however next Thursday we are participating in Journey to Justice. A march and ralley for equality for all. I will be co leading the march my first one to organize yet. here is information on our Studnets for Peace and Justice page. http://sfpj.org/SFPJ/JOURNEY2JUSTICE.html

Friday November 14th 2008

We held Community Kitchen at Naropa. This was an event for the community to come and eat together and have a space to talk about peace and non violence in our community. We served all locally harvested food. We had storys, artisits, songs etc. all talking about different aspects of non-violence. I went at the end talking about spirituality in non-violence. Making Non violence a way of life, not just a tactic. I talked about how it has to start with in, and all that jazz you have heard me say here on the blog. I showed a short film that you should all watch, it was great... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmR0V6s3NKk And then I gave another talk about fighting the war winthin, before we can reach out. I then encouraged people to sit for a few minutes and just look at a spot that they didn't like inside, a spot that they are not friends with yet. I then played a song by Xavier Rudd Take a listen! Guku : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP5DGEkuxMA

I'll hold you up again

And I'll hold you up again

Hold you up again

I'll hold you up again

I'll hold you up again

And I'll hold you up again

You fall and you run

Now my brother you're gone

You fall and you run

Now my brother you're gone(Chant)

You fall and you run

Now my brother you're gone

Well you fall and you run

Now my brother you're gone

I'll hold you up again

Yeah, I'll hold you up again

And I feel you many times

When I shut these eyes

And I feel you many times

When I shut these eyes

And I'll hold you up again

Then after that I went to Denver to see Donna the Buffalo. They were incredible, and wonderful, and inspring, and healing and just so needed. My first concert alone, which was interesting, and great at the same time. I got to be front center to the stage, and they played my favorite song at the end with just guitar and violin.... If you want to hear this song at all here is the link http://www.archive.org/details/donna2007-07-22.matrix.flac16 it is at the bottom called Mystic Water, you can stream it. I called Kev when the song started so he got to listen to some of it with me, it was tender

Saturday the 15th of November 2008

Prop 8 was held downtown, I was not able to attend because I had to work. I believe that it went well though. I would love to hear how it went in your cities. Last night was a birthday party, and ahem... Kareoke... Mostly a great and wonderful time. I had a n altercation wiht some guys though. If you were around my group of peeps when I was in college the first time around, you would know that we didn't leave school at school. We constantly were lloking at menus, signs, logos etc and critiquing them and using our skills to proactice with them. The same goes for this education. We are contstantly trying to figure out how to apply it in the rest of the world, and trying to get practice. Last night a man got up and called all the women in the bar whores, the rest I wont go into explicitly because it is inapropriate for this blog, but was extreemly sexually innapropriate and deragatory to all women especially calling out the lesbians in society. This upset a few people as you can imagine, and then wnet and stood on the floor listening to him sing his song, like they were going to talk to him afterward, but then no one did. So me being me I decide to go up to him and start dialogue. I asked that maybe in the future if he wants to reach out to us that he might want to start seeing us as something besides beings to be there on a sexual level. We actually were getting somewhere when his friend came up and got in my face. I will not tell you the things he called me either, again innapropriate. But basically he wasn't listening because he said that I could not support my argument intellegently, and because of a few personal things I was not someone to be upset... I informed him that I do not need to prove my intellegence in order to be hurt by something someone has said, and that it is sad that this is what he expected from us. I said it is sad that we are still living in a society where he can talk down to me and it iacceptable and no one questions him, but when I express my feelings that are equally radical to him then I am the wrong one. Then he started calling me things, and I got a little in his face too, I was dissapointed by this. I lost my cool a bit, and should not have. I will be working more on this in the future I hope! My friend Ryan was near by watching, but giving me the space to prove myself and to stand independently so that it did not seem like women need a man by their sides to say how they feel. When it started to get intense though and there was physical contact he started to come over and then men vanished... So lots to tihnk about and to learn still.... But the rest was great. It was wonderful after such a heady week to get out and just let loose... I wonder what the Budda would say about that... I bet he would be allright with most of it... Oh did I sing you ask? Yep.... Respect, seemed appropriate.

Ended the week today with watching some football and taking it easy, great week. I am excited to see what this one will bring!

An Apology

2008-11-07T09:55:00.001-08:00

I just want to apologize for my last post. My emotions have gotten the best of me this week, something I have not been used to since I moved out here.
I would first like to say that I think President elect Obama will be someone I will put pride in, and expect only the best from. I know that he has the power and capability and the want to give it. May we all gather during this time, and come together. This does not end here, we can keep the movement, whatever our political partys are, going.
I would like to personally respond to something that Ralph Nader said earlier in the day on Nov. 4th. He stated that President elect Obama has a question to answer now. Will he play Uncle Sam to this nation or Uncle Tom to the corporations.
This has been met with questions, hurt, fear, and outrage. Nader is an outspoken man, and doesn't use as gentle of language as we are used to in politics. I stood behind all that he stands for, and I ask this question with him, though you all know me, I would have said it differently, and have said it differently.
I would like to start with what the term Uncle Tom refers to. According to one of the great loves of my intellectual life , Wikipedia, it states
"Uncle Tom is a pejorative for a black person who is perceived by others as behaving in a subservient manner to White American authority figures, or as seeking ingratiation with them by way of unnecessary accommodation. The term Uncle Tom comes from the title character of Harriet Beecher Stowe's novel Uncle Tom's Cabin, although there is debate over whether the character himself is deserving of the pejorative attributed to him. Stowe never meant Uncle Tom to be a degrading character, but the term as a pejorative has developed based on how later versions of the character, stripped of his strength, were depicted on stage.[1]
It is commonly used to describe black people whose political views or allegiances are considered by their critics as detrimental to blacks as a group"
What we don't want to see is President elect Obama to continue to play into the corparate fields as he did through out his campaign.
We want to see his ethics to hold true, so that this may be a proud day for all in this nation. We don't want to see him do a diservice to his part or to us his people or to be our "Uncle Tom" as Nader so unelequently put.
I am sorry that this was said this way. All that labeling will do for this world is create more seperatism, and that will get us no where.

So on to the Obama Years! I am excited, and I am filled with hope, and pride for this world. May we all join together in keeping the movement of humanity and peace alive.

What I feel on election day

2008-11-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

So this is an email I sent earlier, most of you got another one. This one is my rant and my personal despai over the fact that the only person I know to make a real change in truth will not win today. I wanted to put it on my blog, because there are things in here that no matter who you support I feel we need to put focus on. If you did not get my other email, let me know. I will not be crippled by failure, I will grow in it. know that I celebrate all of you in your truth and how it needed to be said today. May you never stop expressing it! Love you all.

Also Please take some time to read this. A hero of mine, and someone I will not stop aspiring to be like. http://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html

I literally can not stop crying today. I haven't cried like this since Hailee, tears have become to valuable these days. I feel so much despair today. I was all pumped and charged at the poll this morning, but as the day goes on, I mean, Nader isn't going to win. I am not o.k. with either of the other choices, at all. And what do we do tomorrow?There is such a small percentage of us. I am surrounded by a community here of liberal, spiritual, activists. They are even here to learn how to create peace movements, to not stand for corruption any more. If I am looked down upon by them for my views, and definitely by the conservatives how will we ever make any change?There are a few of us, which I didn't find out until today. I made a Nader shirt, which I was pretty apprehensive about wearing, until I realized I needed to stop being afraid and take people's criticisms as their own deal not mine. But that is just the point, how can people be so blind? Do they not know what has gotten Obama and McCain to this spot? How can they say in one breath that they hate Exxon Mobil and the next support Obama, who has been financially backed by this company?I am participating in a protest against Lockheed Martin tomorrow night with CU students, to get thier funding out of Colorado University. Everyone except for me and one other person voted for Obama today. How can they say that it is not o.k. for another institution to recieve funds from a corupt company, but the man they will put thier lives in, for some reason it's just fine and dandy. The same people who don't support big buissnesses, and corporate policys, but will suppport a man who does. They will stand in solidarity in a man who voted for the bailout. What is he afriad of? And by he and man I mean both of the main stream candidates. Play it safe to get to the top? Is that what King did? If there are not enough of us willing to fail, willing to not gain majority in order to gain action and change, if there are not enough of us willing to sacrifice glory in order to stay ethical and true, then what the hell are we facing here? What are we so afraid of? I see no difference in evil and the lesser evil, are they not both evil? Its like saying allright well this man beat me every day, so I am going to be with this man that beats me only every other day. Are we nuts? When are the people of this nation going to get it and wake up to what is actually going on? Both of these Men hold values dear to many hearts here. They are both polished and practiced. They both have moving and pertanent issues to bring to the tables of Americans. They are shiny, and we like shiny things. It is easier to see the corruption of one beause his part tends to go hand in hand with it, but the other it is not so easy to see. We as people don't want to see the ugly sides, the truth, the reality. If we trully did, no one would be able to sit on their couches tonight and drink and eat and watch the results come in, no rather they would either be too heartbroken, or they would be moved to action. If we saw the world the way it trully is, then we would not be able to tollerate poverty, violnce, greed, hate, the war, seperatism through any means. We would be able to feel eachother's pain, embrace it, and stop it. I know I did not do enough in this race, and I am ashamed. I may have sent meating notcies, and praised Nader for all that he is doing, stood up to those who felt differently, but all of that is personal. Did I challenge any institution in place? Did I stand in solidarity with Nader helping him as he went around speach after speach, night after night, state after state? Relief, Rehabilitation, and Revolution. Personally we all engage in relief. Not drinking Coca cola, not watching telvision, or whatever our own personal idea is of going against the system is in order to help. We even participate in rehabilitation, letters to the governement, protests, actions. But I do not personally engage in any type of revolution whatsoever. Here I sit in hippieville usa, in a progressive school, and read my books, and type my emails, and write my blogs, but what the hell does that do. What am I afraid of? What keeps me back? I know that many think I have a soap box, and that I am crazy, and that my value system doesn't hold up in a society like we have these days. I know to many I am just not being realistic, but am I not seeing the whole picture? Am I not really seeing it as it is, and want simply to take the mask away from it all. I just want people to take responsibility. Walk the walk, know what your values are, and don't be afraid to follow through with it. Ugh enough of this, this does nothing but perpetuate cynicsm, and despair. Those two things will lead us no where. We need to have hope and faith in times like these. Do you think that Nader could at any moment be cynical? Do you think that King could be crippled by grief even in jail? Ghandi, do you think that man could once take the idea that society saw him as grand , but really very cooky, and irrational get to him? Where would be with out Thomas Merton who talked out about Christianity as a Christian, or Alice Walker not moving to Mississippi. The act of three African Americans moving to the frint of the bus that day in 51 then brought a revolution 351 days later that over threw the bus companies and created equality in public transportation. The act may be small, it may not have done anything that day, but the lack of fear gave a people power. Who took away ours? We have it to. I knwo that through many years of growing into the people that we are, we have been programmed over and over again. You can't do that, you can't do this, don't feel this way, feel that way. I know it takes a lot of courage to break out of that. Not just breaking out of listening to them, but actually doing that which they thought impossible or redicoulous, or feel the way that we need to. You see we have it inside, it gets covered and blurred, and greyed out. The spark we look for to motivate us, that It is there, and it is bright, but it resides with in you, not outside. It is something that can not be found, because it allready is.

when the pushing leaves your hands

2008-10-29T12:45:00.001-07:00

I fear to never cry again
I fear to fall out of love

I fear that if I keep going
I won't be able to come back

Some days I want it all to leave me alone. I want to taste comfort like I used to. The sweetness of a song on repeat, foods that warmed my heart, the voice of the ones I love, playing crappy guitar music alone. Now all that was sweet has turned dry, bland on my tongue.

Is it so much to ask to be one with the divine? Yes it is, and no it isn't. The journeys wrought with suffering-but only there is the strength I will need to endure being one with the divine. To really know it and embrace it. To know and embrace music, pleasures of the palate and physical body, my love and the love of other, to be able to play only the most beautiful of all music, no matter the skill level. I long for these things.

To let go of my ego, to purge my soul. I tell you truth there are many moments I tell the divine to bugger off and leave me alone and to never come back. Anger is all that I embrace, pain, suffering. And it drives me crazy that I don't ever get the luxury of calling the shots. The divine is always present in everything. There is no changing that, or any relief from having to see myself as I am.

And the question still remains, where to go for a release? All comfort that I knew is now gone, knowing that it is apart of my false self, my ego makes them dissatisfying and undesirable. I am still though so unfamiliar with this new self coming forth. I don't know her yet, and I am certainly not friends with her. She knows her needs, and will say them. She knows her path and is not afraid to go on further. She knows the divine and is not ashamed to stand with it... Yeah we don't' mix all of the time.

Some days I wished I never loved another. Even knowing this now I am pushing myself through another to love again. Not only someone else but myself. And I hate him and myself for doing this. Why couldn't I leave well enough alone. I loved my life in Minneapolis, I still do. No I had to be all up in arms about being enlightened.

Let me tell you the truth again. The truth is I have never felt peace like I feel when I let go and surrender, I have never felt love like I do when I let go, likewise I have never felt as much purpose.

My soul sings in the divine, the darkness and the light. I feel freedom, fully by letting go. Detachment, no self, embracing the now, no past no future. The razors edge. The divine shoves me one way, I shove myself the other. May I learn balance, may I learn to embrace.

And now for some Bob Dylan

Tomorrow Is A Long Time

If today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

Snow Falling On...

2008-10-11T22:27:00.001-07:00

The first snow of my new winter life in the mountains has become a reality. It misted all morning long, until finally the air gave way to just the right temperature producing snow this evening. There is no equal in my life that can show as much purity and peace like a fresh snowfall at night. It was found paired with writing a paper on the lure of violence for my Introduction to Peace Studies class. I was able to pay tribute to teachings of Thomas Merton, Gandhi, and Chris Hedges. Through their voices and mine deal with the issue of self love, and through that being able to embrace love even in the most violent of times. It was a humbling paradox when met with the first snow.

Taking breaks every now and then to go outside and just sit and be immersed with white cool flakes, softly floating down from the darkness; I found more answers to the topic of tonight’s paper than I thought I ever could from frozen water. We often find ourselves ignoring the war inside, and projecting the hate we have for ourselves onto others trough violence and hate. We see ourselves as victims and martyrs giving us meaning and cause for hate. Seeing others as the unjust, thus not being able to see the purity and beauty and pain inside them. This gives us an agenda for pride and reason for judgment. Because we do not fully accept and love ourselves, even the parts that bring us the most pain, we can not fully love others.Something I struggle with deeply. We can not accept the faults in the other, and often time react with a position of hate and violence.

Looking to the mountains you can only see a hazy fog of white. It is when you look under the soft yellow glow of the street lights that you can see the beauty and clarity of the first fallen snow. You can see each flake falling softly, positioning itself in the world with out apology, and without arrogance. You can see people out celebrating the change of the season; laughing and belonging to it with the same love it brings our little town.

It is with the same elegance and love that we must embrace in our own lives. To first see ourselves with love and beauty, feeling the purification of our hate just as the white snow purifies the town with grace and confidence. When will we start to see that it begins with us, not others? We must accept the responsibility of loving ourselves, to fight the lure of violence. Only through this can we give our own self-worth meaning. We as a people will never know peace together if we do not know it first ourselves. We as a people will never know love together if we do not first know it in our own hearts. We as a people will never know non-violence together if first we do not see roots that provide the lure for violence. In acting inward, we may then be able to act with love and peace outward. Breaking the war within, through love is the only way we can see the love in others, even in the greatest acts of violence and hate. It is when we can also accept and love others during these acts and times of violence, can we spread nonviolence, and sever the roots that nourish and give strength to the lure of violence.

It is a wonderful night. The only thing that is missing is all of you. Thought I am finding beauty in experiencing these wonders on my own, there is nothing like sharing it with the ones you love. I believe Christopher McCandless put is beautifully when he said “Happiness only real when shared”. I feel happiness and can embrace it on my own, but there is so much beauty when I can be in it with the ones I love.

So to end this highly over written and soap box of a blog I will add another quote from Chris Hedges, author of War is The Force That Gives Us Meaning

“To survive as a human being is possible only through love. And, when Thanatos is ascendant, the instinct must be to reach out to those we love, to see in them all the divinity, pity, and pathos of the human. And to recognize love in the lives of others –even those whom we are in conflict-love that is like our own. It does not mean we will avoid war or death. It does not mean that we as distinct individuals will survive. But love, in its mystery, has its own power. It alone gives us meaning that endures. It alone allows us to embrace and cherish life. Love has power both to resist in our nature what we know we must resist, and to affirm what we know we must affirm. And love, as the poets remind us, is eternal.

Hailee Marie La Meyer

2008-10-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, These are pictures from the science museum. Mom and Dad took Chad, Heidi, and the kids there a week before Hailee passed. There is one in here taken last Thanksgiving with all of my brothers, nephews, and hailee and me. Caution: The Science Museum ones are really REALLY cute....

Hailee, Justin, Marcus

Marcus, Darth Vader, Justin, Hailee
Dad (Grandpa), Marcus, Dath Vader, Justin, Hailee
Hailee, and Yoda or would he say Yoda yes, Hailee?
Chad, Hailee, Marcus, Justin, Mike, Me, Matt

Tree Roots

2008-09-29T05:37:00.001-07:00

I started a while ago. I think though that last night it when it came full circle. I have started to become what I have long wanted to become, and it happened fast, and suddenly. I have for my whole life put no barriers between myself and those around me. My heart fully on my sleeve. People always knowing my emotional state, my crises, my joys, my heart ache, and my dream states. I have known no walls, I have known no sense of mystery. I have always been the youngest, and through my friends, family, and myself have projected and self prophicied a role of neediness, emotional instability, irresponsibleness, and invalidity. I have also though been someone who knows how she feels at every instant. Someone who knows her view on any topic and ready to stand by it. Someone who can reach out and be reached into, share, and love.
For years though, I have wanted to be different. I have wanted walls, I have wanted to be serious, quiet, and taken as someone of authority. I have wanted in other words, what I call strong. I have wanted to own parts of the people I surrounded myself with, to become parts of me. My greatest insecurities about who I am in the world, I wanted to do away with. I wanted to be stoic, I wanted to be secure, and to have conviction.

I got there, I got there quick. Perhaps too quickly. I realized this last night. I went to go get a glass of wine in Boulder, and the weight er came up to me to ask what I would like. I blushed. I looked at him and I was speechless. I WAS SPEECHLESS???? Not because I did not know what I wanted, but because it had been so long since I had truly just talked to someone. Just a regular conversation, not catching up, not discussing great leader, or religions, or dynamics and what not. I realized then how little I have interacted with people since I have been here. I mean really interact. I am in class, and we discuss the important issues of non-violence, diversity, and inner spirituality. I am at home discussing important business about the house and how it should be run, and I am at work discussing what ridiculous outfit a women should wear for the social gathering of the day. .I am on the phone with family and friends at home talking about how I miss them and catching them up and catching up myself to the lives that we are missing out on. It is then that I do feel the most emotion, I am still so attached to my home. Though I do discuss and speak and listen, I do not interact any more. I myself have left my voice at home. I have become the person at parties or social gatherings who just doesn't talk. I do a lot of listening instead. I do not feel compelled to talk, I don't feel repressed, or even afraid. Most of the time I feel very far away from feeling, like my feelings and emotions are in the branches of the trees, and I am laying on the ground with the roots.

I have become like many people I tried to "fix" or did not understand. Always asking questions of them, trying to figure out how they just don't talk, or why they don't have an opinion that they want to share, or more importantly wondering where their emotions are. I am becoming parts of this, and sometimes it feels wonderful, and sometimes it makes me feel like I should be sad, though I am not.

With all of this introvertedness and stoicness, and such there is an extreme as always to match the extreme. My laugh, once loud and often commented on is almost gone. It is with rare occasion that I can talk to someone back home or from my time before and still hear it. I do not cry hardly at all anymore. I do not have opinions as I once did, I do not have emotions as I once did.

It is quite possibly the oddest feeling, except there really isn't one. I am not saying this is bad, or good, just that it is. I am making an observation. I do not know if this will continue, or if it will break, or if I am now officially stuck in grown up land. I do know that I have seen other people go through this though. Especially when you move for reasons other than life circumstance.

This is a very self indulgent blog, which I know is really what blogs are all about. But I do apologize, they will be more interesting, I am sure in the future. And I also want to say that there are many MANY spelling errors in this, I do not want to correct them though, so they will just sit there.

O.k. I am done with my rant, I am sure by next week there will be a post about how I can't stop crying and laughing or something redicoulous as that.

Around the world...

2008-09-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

Tonight My roommates and I did an activity called around the world... We went into each others trooms and we talked about whar was important to us, showed pictures of our friends and family back home and did an activity... It was great. And since none of you except Kev has seen them, this is what they look like! Meet the Roommies

Marissa

Left Sheri Right Michaela ( we are in Michaela's room, she is playing us the banjo for a sing along that was her activity)
Marcus
Michaela, Marcus, Marissa, Tim, Sheri
Michaela, Marcus, Marissa, Sheri, Tim, ME
Tims Room Activity Painting his walls This is Marissa
Um this is mine, bug surprise, look my first word in Sanskrit!
More Michaela playing Banjo, She plays it so beautifully!
Tim Listening
Sheri... listening

Pile on Sheri's Bed!Me, Marissa, Michaela, Marcus, Tim. Sheris activity was to write a continual story on her typewritter.

Tim in His room!
MArcus's Painting for Tim's Room
Michaela's Painting for Tim's room
Sheri's Painting for Tim's Room

In MArissa's room

MArissa's Activity was dancing and hanging pictures around the room
Tim hangin in Marissa's room
Sheri in Her room!
MArissa, Michaela, Marcus, and Timmy!

In Marcus's Room, picking out chocoalte and Mead! NUM!

Sheri and Tim in Marcus's room
CHEERS!!!!
MArissa showing off her room
Michaela just being darn cute!

It was a grat time! We even had a huge Salmon feast of tacos, beans and Quinoa, quacamole, and beets! NUM!!!! My activity was drawing magnets, with your name and drawing an animal you saw today, then we looked up the native american symbolism for that animal and what it means in your life.... It was a really nice time.

Paper Girl...

2008-09-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

Some of you know, but not many... Last January I signed up to become a Paper Girl for the Saint Paul Pioneer Press. I paniked and did not think and got a job so that I would be able to move out here. I decided to take up this new venture on the coldest weekend last winter, and needless to say I only lasted a couple of days out there. I fell more times than I can remember, and it took me hours and I am not exagerating here, hours to thaw out. Anywho, I was writing this paper last night and came across a document that I must have ment to post about being a paper girl, but I am sure I was too tierd by the time I finished it to post it, so here it is now.... Never, never again.

Every time I wake up it is the same routine. The alarm goes off, Piper stands on my chest and meows and Harold paces up and down the hallway. When I finally roll out of bed they follow me to the bathroom. Harold sits on a wood bench, and Piper rolls on the rugs. We ( meaning the cats and I) then head downstairs to get them their food for the day. I get Savory Chicken and wheat germ dinner, free range meat trio, or whatever organic flavor they have for the day ( yes my cats are hippies to ). I refill the dry food bowl and refresh the water that always seems to be dirty. I leave them to eat and go upstairs to get ready myself. Every day, this is how it goes, until today. My alarm went off like normal, but what were my cats doing? Where did they go? I look over my covers to the foot of my bed, they are still sleeping, unaffected by the alarm. I part the curtains to look outside, almost a full moon and high in the sky. I get out of bed, and finally Piper opens one eye. I look at her and nod my head “ I know, I know”. What I knew was that it was Two A.M. and I was getting up to go to work.
As my previous posting states I am planning to move this June. In order to move I need money right? I want to be as prepared as possible for this. I tend to do things with out thinking them through, and be unprepared… I really want this to be an amazing experience. I read through the paper, and found something that would fit my schedule, not necessarily my age but I am young at heart….

Ladies and Gentlemen… I am now a Paper Girl…

Yes you heard it right. 7 days a week you can count on ol’ Sarah to deliver your paper to your door by 6 a.m. So my daily routine will consist of me getting up in the wee hours, delivering the paper, coming home, getting ready for nannying or Aveda, then going to work till around 4 or 5 then going to bed early and doing it again the next day… good news though, I have Sundays off… From a full time job that is. I still have to bring the paper… I think this will be good. Gets me going everyday, good alone time, good pay, teaches me time mamagment skills, I learn how to dodge icy patches and barking dogs, and I get to really live up the last sub zero winter I am going to have for a while… You really have to appreciate what you’ve got, like what Joni Mitchell said… You don’t know what you got till its gone… And well, next year when I am living a sunny, mild, fluffy snow, and gentle boulder I just might think back and shed a tear missing instant frost bite the second any skin touches the air… Ah I love my home…
I do really love my home… just this weather is a little trying, but we wouldn’t be us if we didn’t have it every year… So all I am saying is all of you out there if you happen to wake up anywhere between 2 and 6 a.m. think of me and send warm wishes my way. I’ll feel it I promise it.
Do you think this will give me an unfair advantage at playing paper boy???

The full moon and one month

2008-09-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

Ahem... Be fore I get to the actual subject of the blog, I would like to take time

to pay tribute to my favorite ingredient in my favorite drink... HOPS

I "harvested" ( meaning I went out my back door and turned around and started picking off the house) hops. We have them growing all over the house. Though I do not know how to make beer, I will do something good with these, Any who, had to share the love...

One month ago Kev and I were pulling up into Nederland, exhausted, dirty, cranky, but also excited at the new environment that we were finding ourselves in. It was a clear warm night, around 75 I think, and the stars were so welcoming. There was almost a full moon that night, and it shone through my bedroom window, bright enough to keep anyone awake, but we were so tired that we crashed as soon as we layed down. That was a month ago. So much has happened, as is lifes tendency.

So an update. I don't know where to start, but to say that I am doing well. I am as level headed as I have ever been, which is odd for me. Though I am feeling a lot of emotions, and I am missing home, and wish more than anything that I could be there for my brother and his family I am starting to feel at home here. I could not have picked a more beautiful place to set my bones for the time being. We have a full moon tonight, as I am sure you do to. Up here though it is so bright that it sets a back light to the mountains giving the most beautiful back drop a home could ever want. I walked down to the creek tonight and it was beautiful. It was softly lit by the moon, and the air was fresh and cool welcoming the new season.

School is going well, better than well it is amazing. It is hard, and challenging however I find it to be a great challenge, and even the overwhlemed feelings feel good. My job is going well, the only thing I would want to change is to have one day off a week, but I will make do.

So one month down, 47 more to go! Here are some pictures from tonights walk, none of them came out well, but you can use you imagination right?

Blessings to all.

This is what happens when you try to take a picture of yourself in the dark

My Shadow

The Creek
Again the Creek

One more time the creek

2008-09-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

I don't want to disregard this, but I haven't found the right things to say about Hailee, and I'm not sure there are. I would like to share a Hindu prayer though that I have been chanting lately. It struck a chord with me, and I would like people to know it, because if I have learned one thing from Hailee, it is to be here now and to love and to have peace and to know the present. So blessings to you Hailee, may your journey wherever it may be be a beautiful one.

Sahanaa Vavatu

Om Saha Naavavatu Saha Nau Bhunaktu
Saha Veeryam Karavaavahai
Tejasvi Nagradheetamastu
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih

And the English translation is:
May the Lord protect us together
May he nourish us together
May we work together uniting our strength for the good of humanity
May our learning be lumious and purposeful
May we never hate one another
May there be peace, peace and perfect peace.

I took some pictures around the campus yesterday
that reminded me of this...

In the Nederland...

2008-08-16T15:29:00.001-07:00

My room. Still needs a lot of work, but I am trying...Left side of my room... very messy
Another view....
Living room
The kitchen... I am making a stew in the crock pot over there with local buffalo meat...
Our patio/clothes drying area
Back of the House
View from my window. Yes that is the back of a cut out alpaca head.
This is the Cat I have adopted... Like a mountain cat version of Pipes... havn't names him/her yet, but I will think of something soon. It's huge!!! And the muscles on this thing is incredible, and well... a mountain cat.
Aww....
A crappy pic of the resevoir... it is really pretty, like a big lake ya'know!
Some homes up the hill
The local brewery
Mountain People's Co-op
The art building where Art happens...
The "shopping center" across the street
Lots of Trails here
Looking out of the bridge at the creek
Going into the Pedestrian bridge
Pedestrian Bridge

DREAD TIME!

2008-07-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

Got the dreads...just in time to seal my hippie fate with a music festival in two weeks, and moving to Bolder...

I'm still getting used to them. Put some extensions in today. Made me feel better. so anywho, here are some pics....

Casket Factory Revisted...

2008-06-30T17:08:00.000-07:00

peet forgive me, I think I am on another kick...
For the rest of you this little diddy is probably in my top 3 favorite written pieces,,,
ugh gorgeous. From the Pantleg Achieves February 25th 2004....

Wait right here, in the alley between the diner and the old theater. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Talk to beardy and his emaciated old lady about the wonders and untapped possibilities of glass. I’ll leave you my sody. You can sip my sody and listen to the butt-rock bounce off the buildings. If it starts raining, run around the corner and stand under the marquee. People might stroll 8 inches in front of your knees and casually converse, glancing warily at you while inspecting the drainage pipes. You just nevermind them, sweetums. You stare at the cracks in the gravel. Trace a game of tic-tac-toe in the sand with your finger. We’ll go to the casket factory some other time, punkin. Today there were too many people driving in slow circles in their jeeps. I know, the railroad tracks had more ambiance or something pretentious like that, but you can’t concentrate when you’re constantly swiveling around, wondering what everyone’s intentions are. Someday soon, a warm, quiet, bright day, when jeeps don’t creep, we’ll go watch the caskets file by on conveyor belts while the people in coarse blue jumpsuits put the hinges on the doors, or staple the satin down. Maybe they’ll even let us try them out. You stretch out in a finished product, and I’ll wave my arms around over your face and chant some Latin stuff. I’ll take your picture by the stacks of recently completed caskets, waiting to be shipped out to corpses across America. Maybe we could sneak a few secret gifts in some of them for the people to take with them to the boneyard. Travel yahtzee or something. A few mad-libs, some certs, readers digest, blow-pops, you know. A little something for them, little something for the worms

Summer Solstice...

2008-06-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

This is by far the best thing that has happened in a while. I mean personaly.
I have had the wedding for the Kerry and that was great, and I have gotten to
do other wonderful things lately , however this one floored me.

The kids, again. For those of you who don't know, and many of you don't I am now
in charge of two older kids who live right next door to Sadie and Sam. They are Ruby and Eli. Since I have taken them on I have also seemed to take on much of the neighborhood as well. This is a new expirience for me and quite frankly it has taken some time to get used to. I am learning so much from them allready. So yesterday was the solstice, and what a day it was!!!

We ( the kids and I ) decided to have a summer solstice party to celebrate. Heres what we did.
They got the neighborhood kids ( about 8 all together ) and went around and collected sticks. Tons of them and leaves that had fallen and flowers, that kind of thing. Then they made the "structure". The structure was more of a sculpture than anything. I wish I had a picture it was beautiful. They had a series of sticks standing up stuck in to the ground to form a circle. They then wraped sticks around those and cris crossed sticks through the middle. It really was beautiful and I am not just saying that because I am biased... Well maybe I am. Anywho.... then they all gathered around the sticks and help hands, and this is what killed me... They thanked the day for being the longest day out of the year, then they recognized that the days will be getting shorter in preperation for winter, then they acknowledged that it was time for change and that change was o.k. Then this was the best part, they all yelled happy summer solstice and ran into the middle tearing the structure down. This was to represent change and the idea of working on something and building it up and how it is o.k. to tear it down and start over or do something different. It was amazing. Then we made strawberry shortcake, because the full moon a few days ago is called the strawberry moon, in honor of strawberry harvest time.

I rarely have felt so fulfiled. It was a beautiful expirience.

To top the day off, Scott, Laura, and Kev came over and the Cousins joined us. We visited for a while on the porch then went to Lee and Dees for some damn fine Bar-B-Q, and then came back and hung out on the deck had more than likely too many Sessions, but it was wonderful.

HAPPY SUMMER SOLTICE YA'ALLL... Or for Peet, Summer soltice 2008 ya'all!!!

Protest the Torch.

2008-04-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

Harold has a new Mom...

2008-04-04T05:19:00.000-07:00

So Harry is staying in the family. Annie has decided to keep him!!!! He will stay at the house till August with the boys and then move out with her. He seems to love the new house and adjusted remarkably well... Pipes is still transitioning. She is walking around the house trying to find him. trying to figure out where he went. She did this when I first got her to... Her paws are healing and hopefully in a week or two she will be back to normal... We will have to wait and see...

Cat Crisis over!!!!!! Thank you Annie!!!!!!!

Harold Needs some love

2008-03-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

Harold the Beautiful Black and White Baby Cakes on the Right
is sayin' " LOVE ME!!!" Can you see it in his eyes???

So the time has come. Harold needs a new home. Here is why. Harold has always been the cuddly loveable purbox of the household, however along with this he is also the alpha male of the household. Over the past month he has been persistently becoming more aggressive to Piper. This morning he went too far. Piper got hurt, and now is scared to death of him. We have set up the basement for Harold now to keep him comfy in his own domain. Anyone who knows him knows he is amazing and sooo lovable. I just don't think he can handle himself around other cats, well at least other cats that are smaller than him and have quite the insecurity complex. Most of you know how hard this is for me to do, so I need to know that he will be taken care of. Harold is a special needs cat in that he has a slight tummy issue that seems to be getting better with age, this has been easily remedied though by a special and easy diet. HArold is fixed and declawed, and litter trained of coarse. He loves to be loved, and really is an amazing cat. I think that Dan and Peet can speak for me one this one as well if you need cross references, and though Ashley never threw him around her shoulders, she did live with him, and he has a place in her heart as well....

Life has a funny way of pouring, and well, here at the house, it has been thunder storming. Please help me through this by helping my baby cakes... I love him very much, and this won't be easy, but I don't have any other choice.

Thank you!!!

Bunch O' Stuff...

2008-03-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

(This is an after after thought. We will name this 0.50 B
Does anyone know they quote below the header of the blog title? I have ofter wondered if anyone could name where this came from... lets call it a game... you guess correctly and there just may be a prize on the other end... Mostly I am just curious, and feel silly having a quote no one knows up there... o.k. off to the first after thought....)

Wait.... I am changing the name of my blog... this is an afterthought so lets call this part
.75A. The new name is The Ellipses, in honor and inspiration of my favorite thing to type the
...
...
...
...
...
...

No I'm not bored, thank you for asking though.

First off, Happy Spring Equinox to everyone!!!! A beautiful Day the earth has blessed us with today. Sunny, and mild. Good day to be outside and to be mindful of the season ahead. I hope the day is blessed for eveyone.

Second, joined a kickball league at work, even got Kev to sign up with me. We will be playing every Monday night in South Minneapolis, so if anyone wants to come out and cheer us on I will let you know what is shakin' down. Hey I found out the other day while saying "what's shakin down" to Jade at work that there is a group that plays hammered dulcimers called shakin down the acorn... He said it is good mountain driving music, and I intend on finding out the validity of that statement by testing out for myself this summer... Any who, the kick ball league. Monday nights. We are the A team, since most of us work for Aveda. I am super pumped and super excited. We are still currently figuring out the numbers for the back of the jerseys. We want to have all decimal points and random fractions that when you put the team together side to side we all will add up to one.... Its going to be wicked cool...

And third...So we had a hair show yesterday at the school. It was a busy frantic morning, but it went well. We have another one on the 13th of April at Aqua nightclub Downtown Minneapolis, where all proceeds will be going to our earth month partner. Our earth month partner this year I believe will be the same as before the Minneapolis Clean Water organization. They are right by us, and are a non profit organization dedicated to getting the word out about clean water, and helping the cities current water supply... Anywho, This is happening on the 13th of April at 8:00. Aveda's event will be from 8-10 and then after that it will be night club scene again, with ladies drinking free... I hate ladies drinking free nights. I mean I know I am a lady, and that means that I get to drink free, but It think it is unfair, and gives off a horrible impression. Ladies drink as much as you can so you get bombed, while we let the guys stay somewhat in control of their level so that they can still have some consciousness in order to take advantage of this situation, if they want to. I will take advantage of the situation by leaving at ten, however the show will be great.... Sorry about that rant, it just frustrates me sometimes. I know I should let people live the way they want to, something I struggle with every day.
Anywho, anywho seems to be the word of the day, but anywho here are some pictures all out of order, having a hard time with the order thing lately. If you come to the show you will see some repeats some will be different, it all though will be on a a much larger scale.

The Bolder Boulder...

2008-03-17T21:08:00.001-07:00

These are cronologically backwards.... Great Time, was wonderful... House int he Foot Hills, hand made stained glass
One room home along a creek... you have to take a little bridge to get over to it, really private
You can't tell here, but right beyond the hills in the background are the clouds slightly below, made it high enough to see above the clouds, it was beautiful, but I couldn't get it to pick up in the camera, probably better that way...

Some homes in the hills in the Salina area...
I think this is Salina... little grouping of homes in the hills
Great House
The pictures really aren't doing the hills justice, it was so beautiful that morning, really fresh and sunny and beautiful. In town Boulder it was gloomy and getting ready to rain a bit, but once you got above the clouds the sun was si beautiful.
Built right into the formation of the rock. This place was incredible
Driving into the Foot hills, just keeps getting bigger and bigger
So I woke up really early on Saturday morning to try to find the foot hills. The people at the hotel told me not to go up because it was going to snow and other stuff, and all I had was the rental Aveo which as most of you know is a go-cart, so I ignored them and just headed in the general direction of the hills, and well I got lucky. This is when the road started to get interesting.
bright and early
Boulder view of the hills. This is about 2 blocks out of the pearl street downtown area.
Typical Boulder House, old and painted really beautifully. You see those rocks in their back yard?
Old theatre that is converted... every old theatre there is now a music venue...
Everything there is recycled if not composable...
Pearl Street Mall
This is where the info goes down
A shop on Pearl, one of the many pubs and or brewerys
Their squirrels are nuts!!! Even they are athletic
Down Town Boulder Mall
These pillars of knowledge are everywhere
The Clock
An accordian player having a chat
Pearl Street
View of hills from Pearl... yea those are hills not Mountains...

These trees are part of downtown as much as the shops are... Beautiful
Driving into Boulder
Mountains at Sunrise
A car...
Driving and taking pictures at the same time doesnt really work... but I try...

So yeah, Boulder was great, more than that it was amazing. It met my expectations and then some. I feel funny bragging about the place, it's not like I own it, and I don't think that it is better than any other place on earth, but it was wonderful. It trully felt to me like it could be home. And the future location of said home will be in those hills... About 80 Percent there. There are still things that could keep me here with out regret for a little while longer, but we will see. I love my home and I would love to move, an interesting place to be in right now... but to tell you the truth I am not too worried about it. Life will take its coarse, and I will follow.

Swank and Boulder....

2008-03-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

Going to Boulder tomorrow... Lets hope for the best... pictures and full report to follow Monday I would think...

Here are pictures from our Swank party... Enjoy.Squats and I smiling for a Duo Self Portrait!I think this one is a little freaky, but that is what I like about it... Way to have fun there Kates!
Awww... Handsome boys, Derbie, Towns, and Cricket
In Action...
More self portraits this time with the Kates
I seriously made Annie take this picture 5 times... but I think it is beautiful... Like Annie...

I can't help how dorky this is... just it is so relevant and it was such a well writen line, and well I just think I need to share it. though you know

2008-03-04T21:33:00.001-08:00

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Yoda

So really suffering comes from fear... we are all just to afraid to stop being afraid...

The Conservatory...

2008-02-21T08:46:00.001-08:00

Took the kids to the conservatory, here are the pictures... The Fish were nuts. The friendliest fish I have ever seen...

Weekends like this that make me feel crazy for leaving, and makes me know you all were crazy for leaving....

2008-02-18T07:51:00.001-08:00

Minneapolis... I listened for months about how un cool it was. Don't get me wrong there are many who do think that it is cool. But there are many in my close group who think it is the Pit O' Despair! I tell you now ladies and gentlemen it is not!!! This weekend was filled with local goodness and pleasure! To start it off Friday night Addy and I went to the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra. We saw Chopin, Bizet, and Brahms. I had never seen an orchestra before. It was beautiful. It was so lovely, and as my father said to me, it was good that I got some culture. I thought this was a funny statement since I try to surround myself in culture. Well really when you think about it, unless you are a hermit you are always surrounded by some culture somewhere. So anywho... I "got some culture" and had a lovely time. Before we went to the concert we went to get a drink where this gorgeous bartender who wanted to talk about cats helped us, and there right in front of me was THE FOOD NETWORK!!!! You see everyone in my house is Catholic, and hard core at that. They all gave up something for lent, so in the spirit of them, and the fact that I think it is good to give up an indulgence I gave up the foodnetwork. Thats right, I haven't watched it now for a couple of weeks. I"m not sure if anyone noticed the tear I shed the second my eyes glanced up and caught Alton Brown in a judges costume explaining where butter came from, but it was there. So that was Friday... on to Saturday....

Started out with going to work bright and early... I was tired, REALLY tired... Determined to go to bed as early as I possibly could that night. While I was at work, Brenna and her Mom, and her mom in law to be, Katie, and their aunt came to get some prettiness done on thier nails. Then I met them and we all went to the Wilde Roast. The Wilde Roast is this over the top of excess coffee shop/cafe. They don't just serve grilled cheese, it is grilled cheese with bacon and avocado... things like that... The more fat in the item the more they are going to rock it out. IT is so lovely being in there though. The Wilde Roast tends to be a treat lunch for me due to the fact that I can't eat that kind of food all the time, more than that, I can't afford it... But the greatest part about this place is that they have these massive huge chairs surrounding an even more huge ottoman, so you can sit around the fire they have there and read and eat desserts and sip lattes... ugh so yuppie yet so nice.
Then I left work and met Squaty pants Mc Gee Paulie... With and IE... Anywho met Paul and we went to Quangs for some delicious food... Of which I ate the wrong combination that would come back later that night to kill me... I mean KILL ME!!! Anywho. I had some food and we got ready to meet his Lady the great Rosie Kates for a radio show. Katie just got this internship for the Electric Arc Radio show. She is in charge of arranging volunteers to help take tickets, sell tickets and merchandise. I got to be at the will call table. During said time, a man that I recognized came in named Andy... for those of you who know who I mean, think sock puppet party and starbursts. Anywho, he went to go get a ticket from Katie and I hid behind a program. Then I heard her... oh you have season tickets??? Sarah can help you with that... So I came out red in the face and said hi to Andy. Stumbled all over my words, and finally said would you like a program. They are really beautiful and did you see the pictures in it??? He smiled and said, I have seen it, I illustrated the program... ugh... oh wow... well it looks nice Andy, good to see you. That was it... akward, cute and all around a sarah moment... So on to more. The show was great. It is about four writers that live in a house and they are all nuts. To see a radio show taped was such a treat. There was a sound guy, a woman in charge of all random women voice and man for the mens voices, a random poet man, and the four characters. They also had a guest band that one of the roommates had hired to play songs to her every time they fell asleep... This is the point at which I thought... What if everyone had scene this? What if all of my friends who moved saw this very thing that I saw. Would they think then that Minneapolis is great and they wouldn't have left?
Maybe they would have seen a spark of hope for the city and wanted to stay... NO offense to the other cities or countries. But I am sorry and I am generalizing here. You don't have this. You don't have a band that plays once a week with an accordion, a saw, ukulele, and other such things and make it sound like liquid gold for the ears... At this point of the night, I wondered if I was nuts for leaving. And I came to the conclusion that I was. I am still leaving don't get me wrong... but I don't know how long I will be gone for. Anywho...
So after the show went to the Bulldog, and hung out and Kevin and his gang met us up there... that is when the food started to kill... And did it ever... Spicy REALLY spicy mock duck, the fried yams, and two TWO cafe sudas.... ugh... I never think...
Time to go leave and I go with Kevin.... This starts us on hours of watching Deadwood... Remember how I was going to go to bed early??? yep not so much. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHOW???!?!?!?!?
If not you need to! It was so great. So we didn't go to bed till 3:30 and then due to the lovely food earlier I didn't actually get to sleep till after seven. We got up a few hours later had some tea and Kevin played Lord of the Rings while I continue to tackle 100 years of solitude... And then caped last night off with Trivia.

The weekend was great. And I am about to leave now to go to Red Wing Antique shopping with Kevin, to find drink glasses with cartoon characters from the 1970's...

I must be crazy to leave.

Bridget Jones and the Idea...

2008-02-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

We had a feast... well sort of...

I had this great idea... And of coarse this great idea came from a movie, and this time it kind of ended up like the movie, just not in the way that it inspired me. You know in Bridget Jones? You know her diary and all? Anywho, there is a scene for her birthday where she decides to have people over for dinner cooked by her. It pretty much is everyone she loves excluding her family. They all have this great time laughing and relaxing, and it just looked like such a great idea. I mean who wouldn't want to be around everyone they loved for an evening and try to make them all dinner? So this was my plan, and hell or high water I was going to do this. How... Valentines day... PERFECT! Valentines day, you know the holiday all about love??? Well actually more about money and drama, but love is in there somewhere. So time to have a meal.

I haven't actually gotten to be with anyone on valentines day since I was a kid and was with my family. This was a semi big deal, and well big deals for most people are semi huge giant deals for me. I was going to make the best meal that I could think of bearing in mind that we had 4 vegetarians, 2 guests with an affection for less is more, and one definite meat loving appetite... I was cooking so unfortunately Kevin was going to have to deal with out meat for one night, not that he minded. So here is what I decided to make... because I'm nuts... Rosemary and Parmesan polenta with a creamy sage cashew pistachio sauce. Manicotti stuffed with ricotta, spinach, gorgonzola, and parmesean. The manicotti was topped with three sauces, or two or one depending on your tastes. A creamy mushroom sauce, a marinara, and a spinach pesto. Then my traditional asparagus wrapped in phyllo dough and parmesean with hollandaise sauce. I need to come up with a name for these just havn't gotten there yet.

I plopped myself into the kitchen at 4:30 yesterday afternoon with a goal. I was to have dinner served at 7:30. 3 hours to make the mentioned above for 12 people. I can do this, I can do this totally. Thanks to Daniel I have been listening to that pandora website, and have been enjoying Nick Drake radio, so I brought down my speakers and my computer and got ready for the long haul. What was supposed to be well planned and 3 hours turned into 4 and a half and so not coordinated at all. Much like in Bridget Jones ( which ironically Brenna brought up when I was freaking out about the food) when she turns her leek soup blue due to the string dye that she tied them in, my manicotti filling donned a sea foam green. In fact it looked exactly like Jello's instant pistacio pudding. I mixed the spinach to much and it ofcoarse dyed everything. The manicotti took much longer than I thought, Trying to spoon every tube full of green fluff. Pretty soon it was 8 and I hadn't even started on the asparagus. Thankfully I had Brenna in the kitchen with me, helping me and keeping me calm. I was about to loose it to, especially when I curdled the hollandaise sauce because I was inn too much of a hurry and added the eggs too fast. We did end up getting everything finished and platted, and it was a success. I took all of one bite of the manicotti, frankly I didn't even want to eat it after spending so much time with it last night, and not a lot of possitive time at that. But it was allright I would say. And due to the amount of wine consummed last night I'm not sure many people would be able to tell if it was bad. Kevin brought over home made bread and it was delicious, not a one left in the morning.
And Annie made the most delicious heart shaped cookies, appropriatly hued with yellow food coloring as too not be too lovey dovey on the big V day.

We had a lovely time. We went around saying what our favorite love song was as we listened to Mark Wheat play the 100 best love songs of all time. Mine? Well Of coarse it was "These Arms of Mine" by the Otis. I didn't actually hear it though last night. Not that they couldn't have played it. Hold on I'm going to look up if they did... Nope they didn't... But they did play some great ones, At last, The luckiest, Ring of Fire, Midnight train to Georgia, Time after time, and aartists like Billie Holliday, Nat King Cole, Elvis, Louis Armstrong, and such... It was great. There were photos taken last night however not on my camera, so I will post some as they come my way. It was just so nice to be able to spend the evening embracing what is so nice about the idea to have a holiday all about love. Most times we get all bent out of shape fousing on the hallmark side of it, or ignoring it all together. For a lot of us who are single there are even times where it is a night of mourning over the fact that all your friends who have significant others are out winning and dinning it up. We actually got to have Brenna and Chirs with us at dinner which made it seem even nicer that they decided insted of it just being the two of them they would spend there Valentines night with all of us showing that not even couples have to do the typical when presented to them...

So now here I am 11:00 the next day with Sam, getting ready to clean the disaster from last night. Oh my poor room mates!!!

A couple of words...

2008-02-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

Are they ever really a couple of words? No, and this is no exception...
I want to geek out for a bit. Not about a book, or a movie, or a new idea, or anything... but I want the liberty to geek out about the kids. I feel like only parents are allowed such a liberty. To talk about their children, and even when they do, people tend to glaze over or get jealous. Glaze over if they themselves don't have children, or get jealous if they do... Any who, I am just a nanny, but I'm sorry I can't hold it in anymore. I may not have the right, and it may be boring to everyone, but this is my blog after all... SAM CUT HIS FIRST TOOTH!!!! thats right, first one, poped through today! The bottom right for the front two! We had a long talk about the significance of this today. Mostly me just freaking out, and Sam drooling and laughing... I want him to know how much this means. How that eating from this day forward would be different, forming sounds, aesthetics, everything, so different because of teeth. And then it happened, Sadie got me and told me she had to go to the bathroom. We have been struggling with potty training, and so far she tells me she has to go, and then doesn't actually have to... but today she went! She actually went in her little potty... ugh it was such a day!!!!
I have something to admit... I started nannying because I thought it would be easy... A no brainer with how much I have been around kids right? Wrong... It has been tough. Not in a bad way, but it ways that I forgot about. Every day I get at least 8 ounces of spit up all over me, have to change major diapers, repeat myself over and over like I am the one who doesn't get it, deal with time outs, bad moods, not eating, and so forth. I have to say though I don't think that this could have come at a better time in my life. I have found myself in a constant transitional phase this past year or so... But the kids... holy buckets, they are in a major transitional phase and they just take it as is... It really gets me though some things. Take Sammy... Every day during Sadies nap time we have tummy time, where I set him on his stomach to get his muscles stronger for crawling, then I stand him up and hold on to his hands to get his legs stronger... we do this back and forth for two hours. Many times he tries and tries and gets so fed up that he doesn't know what else to do and panics... then he calms down and tries again...Every day he is getting stronger. Such tiny steps for such a tiny thing. I think of this often now since I have taken up a spinning class and am 80 miles into the work out and feel like I'm going to die... that eventually I will get stronger and that I won't feel this way till 120 miles or someday... not until after a whole day of mountain biking in the rockies... Then take Sadie... She just turned two. She is having to learn so much about responsibility even at that young of an age.. If Sam makes a mess with his toys, I pick it up. he is a baby he can't right? Well there comes a time where people stop picking up your mess and you have to be responsible for it, or there comes a time where you have to change behaviors or add new ones that are hard to remember. Please, Thank you, covering your mounth when you cough, or to use your words instead of crying and throwing yourself on the floor... I feel like i frequently have to go through the same thing. Re learning habits, adding things into my manners, learning so much how to take care of myself... That one has been really tough. I mean I can clean up after myself, but really take responsibility for making myself happy and not to rely on others, or to take responsibility for my short comings and not seek out exernal reasons... so on a so forth.... So what I am getting at, is that there really isn't a whole heck of a lot of difference between the problems I sometimes have and that of a cetain 7 month old and a two year old... As silly as it sounds, they inspire me every day, if nothing else but just keeping me in the moment. They keep me present in a world that is so inviting for day dreaming it away... Thats that... I am pooped, not to be ironic :) So I am going to hit the sack...

Kev and the moe.

2008-01-28T04:32:00.000-08:00

My Sunday was an adventurous one. Starting off with taking Alana to the airport, so that she can go shake it with the penguins way south of here. A welcomed beautiful and sunny day here approached as I headed off to the snow sculpting contest for the St. Paul winter carnival. Kev was asked to join a team by one of his coworkers, and took on a 3 day sculpting challenge. Saturday the team was out there from 8 a.m.-11 p.m.
Incredible sculptures, really unique and really impressive. Super cool thing to have gotten to see...

After the contest was judged and the Vulcans had marked there victims, some much welcomed Willow watching was to be had. Wow did you see the alliteration in that last sentence??? Anywho, then on to my first moe. concert. My first jam band concert really. Again, incredible. The crowd was amazing. I never seen so many people so pumped up and involved with the experience. They all were so passionate about the music, so much dancing and movement. I'm not saying all of this was not helped along, but for the risk of being self incriminating, we will pretend that people were high on the music. People who want to let you go forward to see better, not people who complain and elbow their neighbor when they can't see the rhythm guitarist. People who smile and laugh and really make it all about the experience of the show. Almost like this show is the highlight of your life. This is it, so make it count. They make it count. Lessons of last night... I was taught that if you look at someone right in the nose and high five them you will never miss their hand, I also learned that men who spill their beer are sensitive, oh and most of all I learned that when the word "Marco" is yelled and you answer back with "Polo", be preppared. I mean that in a good way. Anywho, it was amazing. I said to Kev today, when we were talkng about the show, I said I can't imagine going to a regular show and it being satisfying anymore. He paused and shook his head, and said exactly.

Times Up!

2008-01-01T00:22:00.000-08:00

So I said it. January first a decision needed to be made and finalized, and well it has been.

Months of trying to figure this out, constantly on my mind. Should I move? If so then where? when? Most importantly why and how.

I am fortunant enough to have so much support and advise in this. My friends and family have given me so much to aid this decision. Though most of it biased :) all out of love. Though it wasn't until I talked to my oldest brother that I could finally put into words what this was all about. I have been constantly trying to explain why I want to do this, and why the place is so important. I knew that I couldn't just move anywhere for the sake of moving. I knew that it had to have a school that I wanted to go to offering the degree that I needed. I knew though more than anything else that it needed to be about me, for me.

When someone asked me what was missing from my life that I felt I would have if I changed my locale, and I said that it was me. Not to get too deep in the blogging world or anything, but it is true. And I knew that if I was going to move it had to be 100 percent about me, as selfish and as narrow minded as that sounds. My brother put it best. I need a paradigm shift. Like I have allways just used one eye, now it is time to excersise the other. This is what it is all about. Though friends, school, family, and so many other factors came into play it all had to boil down to what I wanted, what I needed. As many of you know this is not something that I like to do or can do easily, make a decision based on what I think and feel and be confident enough to say it proudly. Be confident enough to look people in the eye and say why. Be confident enough to say goodbye or to say I'm staying. Be confident enough to believe in myself... Why does every post have to be so dramatic. Look I'm not even confident enough to belive in my sappy writing...

The other part that is so hard, is all of the feelings that I have had with a majority of my friends moving away. It hurt every time. No offense guys, I'm so happy that you are doing what you are doing. And I am finally understanding. But I must admit this was an important factor. Something I have felt so much about seeing it happen so often. Do I leave the people I still love here? Do I leave the friends and the lifestyle I have? Do I feel like a hypocrite? I must admit this was the hardest part about the decision. And I am seeing that there is no right way for it. There is no way that doesn't suck about you leaving people that you care about and that care about you. I knew that if I decided to move that seeing my Grandmothers face as I tell her would hurt so much and would make me second guess alone.

Anywho the decision has been made, and there is no changing this. This is what I have decided. I will tell you soon here, just bear with me...

I am moving out of Saint Paul. More than that I am moving out of Minnesota.

I decided the yet mentioned place because of the lifestyle. Healthy, very focused on eating well and being well mentally, spiritually, and physically. People there are always moving, sometimes slow, sometimes fast. But it is active. Alive.
I decided this location because of the geographical make up. The scenery there is a paradigm shift in and of itself.
I decided this place because there is the most unbelievably beautiful school with a peace studies program that I will be incredibly blessed to go to if I am allowed.
I decided this place because it felt right, and well quite frankly thats all I feel I need...

I am moving to Boulder Colorado. There it is, I said it. I am moving to Boulder. It is incredible. Topping off at 300 plus days of sun, hippies, yuppies, bikers, climbers, vegans, mountains, streams, fly fishing, celestial seasonings, Naropa university, and where I will be calling my new home.

That is all... So happy new year. and way to make it to the end of this long rant!!! Love y

Now Meg, don'tbe rude!

2007-12-26T14:53:00.001-08:00

Can't stop listening to Rag and Bones by the white stripes... Brings me tidings of great joy...

You know what esle brings me tidings of great joy??? Charlie Douglas.

You may be wondering who Charlie or Charles Douglas is, well he is my new Fender Slide guitar... Um yeah... I know...

After what 5, 6 years of asking for him for ever birthday or holiday my lovely parents gave in, he even came complete with a lime and brown vertical striped case with red fuzziness on the inside. It make me red and fuzzy on the inside...

So yes there may not be many female dobro players out there, but I think there will be a revival soon... Who knows if I get good enough at this maybe I will quit my job and start hoping trains. I could even teach Harold and Piper to pee in the woods, and tie there own bandana suitcases!

it means"everybody well? what did you do today? was it cold? akita was really cold, but interesting and the day was good. i ate a lot of food"

2007-12-23T07:29:00.000-08:00

Anywho. I am writing this while "skyping" with peet. My house is now quiet after a very busy and exciting social day. Friday morning started out like any normal friday morning. We had our first arrested development breakfast. Dan got me the first season on DVD for my holiday times present. A bunch of lovelys came over to watch the show and we had french toast overnight omlette, potatoes, and mimosas.... It was lovely...

After everyone left I got to have Dom Cakes all to myself... and after woderful converstation we hunted down my keys for an hour and headed to get Zack and got to the Hard Times... Felt wierd and great at the same time being there with the guys... Kept looking at the door expecting Daniel and Peet to walk through... and for me to leave so the boys could be doing there thing... I don't know... Winter makes me more sentimental I think....

Because of this I do silly things like get the Celtic Women C.d.....

But that is a whole different blog....

And now a messgae form peet...

"minasan, genki? kyou wa nani o shimashita ka? samukatta ka? akita wa cho samukatta da yo. demo, omoshirokute yokatta desu! takusan tabemono ga tabemashita."

Thank you Peet for those lovely words!

Friday night ended out with a Rock Band Party... It was actually really fun.

Yesrerday was crazy nuts and marked the day the rest of my roomates took off to see their families...

So I am chillin listening to some Celtic Women, talking to Peet, and writting a really boring blog... expect more of these to come... Lets see a new picture here... Maybe something besides Zack... because there are other people out there...

I know a Zacks other twin brother besides seth... Kevin, in a dress by a blue bull on Halloween.... This will start my new picture theme of halloween... late, but at least it is here!

If you like Barry Manilow then you will love the Insane Clown Posse

2007-12-19T23:19:00.000-08:00

Ugh.... I can't sleep...

Scenario #1. I am home... instead of going to sleep at say 10 or 11

I decide to take a nap. Ugh...

Then I wake up from the nap about a half an hour later and

boom I am up for the night...

It is 1:30 and I am not een close to being tired yet.

this would all be fine except I get up at 6....

...

I know I know, this is even sillier to complain about than the Acadia... but

what else am I going to do???

I already wrapped my presents, made 7 dozen cookies, home made pizza and uploaded tons of photos....

I'm out of ideas...

Anywho I am going to attempt sleepage now....

Here it is you guessed it.... A picture for the road...

when saddness attacks you've always got Zack!

2007-12-17T21:19:00.000-08:00

I decided to post another picture to cheer people up after the sad news...

Horrible Sad News...

2007-12-17T21:13:00.000-08:00

I will nevere again be abble to walk down to the Acadia with my friends soon...
They are moving. Can you belive this... Moving. And I can't do anything to stop it.
Kevin told me the news on Saturday, and I have neglected writing about this till now, because
I frankly didn't want to belive it and blocked it from my mind...
ugh...
Is nothing sacred anymore? Can someone stop riping away all of my familiar loves
and comfort zones?
Again, a little dramatic.
ugh...
angst....
And my Cell phone, gone again. Second time. And since the first time I have
successfully lost my phone once a day. Which I suppose means I just misplaced it.
But it will leave my possesion for a good 1-3 hours each time...
this time it has been gone since last friday. I can't call anyone. People can call me and leave
a message, but no dice shooting back...
...
ugh...
angst...
On a lighter note we are having our first Arested Development Breakfast this friday...
And it will be great...
...
...
So I will be heading down to have one last beer and balck bean burger before we say goodbye to the Acades on Franklin...
I don't know where it is moving to, but with it goes a lot of memories...

An Ode To Dom...

2007-12-14T11:48:00.000-08:00

First Thank you Carls Quinn for that update.
Second, Dom is coming into town. This is a big BIG deal...
Let me preface this with the fact that I havn't gotten to see
Mr. Vescio since I was 20. It has been 4 years. Well 3 and a half,
but lets be dramatic and call it 4. 4! A whole presidency can go by in four
years. You could get pregnant and have a 3 year old in four years.
You could meet someone and marry them in four years.
You could look completely different in four years...

Luckily none of these things are true for me, and so we won't have
that hard of a time picking up where we left off...

Dom calling me a nine year old, and me stomping off...
Ahh the good ol' days....

So I am excited, I am pumped actually... It almost... well it
does feel like my very own special christmas present...

I'm only sorry that we are all not here together, and that I can't see
a situation with Dom, Peet, and Mayo...

Gob can only entertain me for so long...

2007-12-13T05:10:00.000-08:00

I have a problem.... A big problem....

It seems that I have two weeks off starting on Winter Solstice

and going all the way till January 6th....

...

What am I to do? I would love to go to any of these places...

Portland,

Cardiff,

Duluth,

JAPAN.

Sadly though I do not have the funding.

I may be able to make it to Duluth for a couple of nights to see Fitgers and a little of the Charles Parr, but that will even be pushing it...

So I need help. I need suggestions. I need fillers.

I know that this is usually something people pine for, but you have to understand something about me. I hate days off. I especially hate days off when I have nothing planned. If I hve a day packed full with too much to do then I am a happy camper....

I also will be abandoned again by all of the room mates come the solstice....

Ugh...

Big house...And tooo much time off...

Sarah is going to need some idea love....

But other than that everything is cheery and I am excited for the new winter... Here is a picture to cheer any one up. It is Zack and his Dad... His Pop is sneezing...

I sure Xylaphone do I xylaphone!

2007-11-26T21:36:00.000-08:00

It’s been a while. I understand that it’s been a while. I have no excuse, so I’m not going to give one. I would give you an update on what is going on in my life, but most everyone knows that already, so what really do I want to write about…
Everything I can think of seems so dramatic. And everything I can think of seems so self centered and not worth peoples time…I guess though the very nature in having your own online journal is for it to be semi self centered… that is unless you are perfect Duluth day… but that is another story…
I could talk about Sugar Ros, and how it is changing me… Or for that fact all of the music that I have been doused in these past few months. Most I must admit I have to owe to Kevin. A story about music. Here we go. A story about a man that plays guitar. For those of you who do not know I lost my Grandfather a few weeks ago. Well I should rephrase that, the world lost my Grandfather. While I will try not to be arrogant about myself, I will be proud and praise my grandfather, an amazing man who touched so many and a long time musician and owner of a music store, no an owner of a life style. Watch out I am already getting dramatic. … This story starts out on a Saturday afternoon and well ends on a Saturday afternoon just about 5 minutes after it starts, but time is not important here, I was just trying to add weight to the story… Ahem… Saturday afternoon ….
There wasn’t much to do or say, I had just gotten to Mount Olivet Nursing Home an hour or two before. Drinking coffee and counting the seconds, the moments of breath that my grandfather had in him, and holding our breath with him during the times where he seemed to have misplaced his love of oxygen. 10 breaths, or more like quick gasps followed up by long pauses of silence, or stillness only to be broke by shuddering half mouthfuls of life. We sat, and we sat.
Trying to break the silence, I brought up a musician that I had recently become familiar with due to my great friend Kevin. Remembering that I had received his albums from Kev when I had felt so low, and how when I put the needle down and his 12 string rang out, I smiled and sat down, and felt calm. So I thought I would introduce my grandmother to this man, to this music.
“Grandma,” she lifts her head up. “ One of my friends has introduced me to a musician I know that you would just love, I have some of his vinyl and, well I can bring it over if you would like to hear it. He is amazing, a wonderful guitarist”
“Oh?” She sounded interested, this made me happy. Felt like I could contribute somehow. “And who is this man?”
“Leo Kottke, I guess he is from around here”
“He is good isn’t he?” A smile came out on her face
“You have heard of him? I should have known, you always know about every musician I want to introduce you to” Which is true, she does…
“Heard of him? Well yes, and I have heard him, he taught at the store.” At this point the smile was cemented, and we went on for a while talking about Leo Kottke, and how remarkable that this musician, whom I have never heard of before my wonderful friend from New York graced me with it, has already touched people so dear to me. That music is the closest bond I think I have with most people. That really even though I want to say, and it is true, that my bond with people is with our hearts. I really have to admit, that there is a language out there, we all speak, we all trust flawlessly, a language that will never let us down, that can take us to any moment in time, can bring us to any person we want. A language that can fill our eyes with tears when we hear the notes that were our only companions on nights where we sat alone and didn’t know where the person we loved was and why he wasnt answering his phone, or a language that can bring us next to our best friend while he is doing that great dance with his arms and wearing that favorite flannel of yours. A language that can help us feel like this cherished man that was so apart of everyone’s lives is holding you so close as you are listening to the clear tone of his voice proclaiming the gospel of Amazing grace at his own funeral. A language that will comfort me more than anything else I know, that will bring my friends back at the push of a button or the drop of a needle, that will continue to span generations and give my grandmother and I countless conversations, and most of all, something that reminds me that I am never alone. So there you are, dramatic? Yes. But we all knew that was inevitable. I’m going to continue to lose myself in the Sugar Ros song Staralfur. This is so that in 5 years, hell in 1 year when I need to look back and remember this time as it is passing now for whatever monumental thing I will make it out to be, I will be able to push a button. I will push a button and instantly be connected to every sense that becomes filled at this moment, every thought and feeling, and I will remember that though this just may have been the hardest year of my life yet (not meaning much from a 24 year old I know) that there are things in life that will always be here, and will always hold me, and that will let me feel peace like nothing else.

Across the Pond

2007-10-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

So I need to test a theory, just now constructed...
" These Arms of Mine" By Otis Redding...
By far the worlds most sensual song to date right? However my buddies Ashely and Dan are in Wales, and they were in a coffee shop or a pub or something, and it came on...
And nothing happened. Dan even remained on the other side of the table...

So my question is this... Do the monumental songs of spirit and emotions loose there effect as they travel across the pond???

Because there is just no way that they could have possibly contained themselves when presented with a musical proposistion such as These arms of mine...

Hmmm.....

Ugh... Good song...

2007-09-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

Donna the Buffalo - Everything seems to want to hurt this time

Life, love, potential love
Causes so much joy
Has the adverse power
To hurt you that much more
It's the same dark that falls
On the light that shines
Everything seems to want to hurt this time
I take a look inside
Nowhere to turn or go
No clear distinction
Above or below
Surreal existence
Casts its shadows to the blind
Everything seems to want to hurt this time
Aw, the party's crashin'
Fade into a distant droneIt
only takes just one of us to be alone
Nobody's going but I still feel left behind
Everything seems to want to hurt this time
Red lights serenade me as I try to go
Outside the wind crashes with the smell of blowing snow
Three in the morning, cradled by a mental bind
Everything seems to want to hurt this time
Someday I will returnIt will be none too soon
Jump off the front porch
Land on the crescent moon
Until then these fancy dreams
Are for another mind
Everything seems to want to hurt this time
All I want to do is wake upReturn to the loving kind
But everything seems to want to hurt this time
All I want to do is wake up
Return to the living kind
But everything seems to want to hurt this time

Deloris and Donna

2007-09-27T08:33:00.000-07:00

I got a new computer. Her name is Deloris. Deloris and Rosie have not made friends yet, but I am sure they will. I have made the treck over to PC land... Hmmm.... It is a little frusterating I must tell you. All of these new buttons, two clickers on the mouse pad, and no open apple...
Oh how I love the open apple.

But this computer is great, really great. It is a lap top, somthing I have never had.
It is a 17 inch, which is a bit bigger than I guess I thought it would be, but still fantastic.
It is brown to. The outside is I guess. The inside is silver.

But the great thing is that I can use my own computer to go on to the internet and therefore
stay more connected to you lovely people. And I have word, so if i am not feeling to lazy I can spell check as I go along. However I am feeling lazy right now, so this post is lost.

A friend just gave me the most extraordinary album. Donna the Buffalo- Live from the American Ballroom. I suggest everyone going out and buying this album immediatly, esspecially to listed to teack #7 on the first disk on repeat. People actually might be getting this song emailed to them from me, I think it is that important.

Thank the heavens for freinds, and for friends with great musical taste. I don't know how I did it, but I have lucked out way to much with this.

The Bad Plus...

2007-09-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

I re read this posting, and saw that it was basically unreadable. I wrote in at 5 in the mornign because I was too excited to sleep, and therefore my allready bad spelling got worse and the lack of letters to form words was more than apparent. And just to warn you this may be the most dramatic thing I have ever written...

Holy Buckets... Holy Buckets... First song I kid you not I had tears...first song... If I repeat a lot in this segment it is only because I am so unbelievably excited, so blown away, so overjoyed by the wonderful music I got to see and hear and experience last night... Oh last night, last night... Lets start at the very beginning.. So I'm not sure about this new Guthrie, never have been. When you go down to the river and see the ruins and all the beautiful buildings that surround the Mill city Museum, and the bridge with its arches made of stone you feel transformed into another world. A world that you never got to live, and only through these pieces of metal and chunks of limestone do we get to have a glimpse of what it might be like to exist in a different world, with out leaving ours. Then what do they do, plop this giant blue thing with a yellow scrolling words right next to it all. Big, boxy, expensive, modern. IT looks almost like a giant best buy only it looks like a Best buy tank that no one can figure out how to break into. Being the snob that I am I hated it right away and didn't give it or its patrons a chance to convince me otherwise. That is until I got off my high horse, climbed down and stepped inside to see the Bad Plus last night. I started outside, waiting for my friend. Too intimidated to open the door and walk inside, just incase it was a tank and I needed to know the secret handshake. And I thought about it, and I don't know any secret handshakes. I walked down to the river only to receive word that he was up on the extended bridge. I had no choice now but to go in alone and see if I could get past the guards with the handshake, and see if I even knew the secret word to say if I had to go to the bathroom. What is this? How can it be, I walked right in. No one stopped me. I must have walked past when they were distracted, close call. I make it out to the bridge, and then I see it. The most amazing beautiful breathtaking view of my hometown. Minneapolis at her finest, the river, the bridges, the signs, the smoke stacks, the buildings, the trees, the beauty. My heart begins to soften and fold; maybe I will give this place a chance. After realizing they have IPA and being really happy about this we get a glass each and go to sit down. The theatre, theatre number 4 to be exact was intimate, and warm. The seats in colors of red, and yellow, and orange and grey in no particular pattern. A small stage with beautiful lighting and a mysterious backdrop. I felt transformed, and felt so excited. And I wasn't going to be let down. The Bad plus call themselves a collective, I call them collective genius. They are a trio Ethan Iverson on piano, Reid Anderson on upright Bass, and David King on the drums. There style mostly jazz influences also reaches into modern covers of 80's songs and spans to soft tender almost epic pieces moving you to tears. There pianist Iverson floats his hands over his Steinway hammering out intricate chords and spreading out scales and melodies. Anderson the bassist makes such music and such intricate carvings out of the song. He uses his upright in tradition ways but produces a very untraditional sound of complex pairings of notes, and melodic drawn out sequences that just kill you they are so tender. And that brings us to the drummer. The man... I mean the man is like nothing I have ever seen before. It was described to me last night as controlled chaos, and I agree; however I think it is more of a possession. King literally looks like he can't help but do what he does, hands everywhere different drums, children's toys, sticks, bells his elbows every part of his body into this music. His arms spasm this shocking and courageous beat that would take nothing short of a master mid to produce. I truly could not tell where he stopped and the drums began. It was the most amazing drumming I have ever seen. The trio did two 45 minute sessions with an intermission in between, and I was floored for all of it. Trying to wrap my head around people who can let go of everything else, and let their hands their bodies, their souls pour out in front of us, letting us see into them and spend such an intimate time with them.
Fantastic.

Batman...

2007-09-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where I was, or what hole I had dug myself into, however I just saw Batman begins for the very first time. Fantastic, as everyone else knows...just fantastic. I really don't know what I was up to during the release of this film, but I had no idea that anyone as cool as the people that were in it, were in it. I knew Christian Bale was, but Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and ahem, the best actor of all time, Gary Oldman.... Gar Gar Oldman...
Lets do a pictoral tribute to the man...

I guess it came out summer of 2005... I was working at Target at the time, but I'm ot sure what else would have kept me from seeing this. Hmm... Curious.
We finally have the house all set up and finished. It came out pretty well I would say. We have set up the downstairs to look like a jazz lounge which I can dig. Very chill...

Nothing else much going on though... I will be thinking about this movie for quite sometime though... I may even re watch it tomorow morning...

I hope you enjoyed the photo tribute to Gar... Rent a movie of his today!!! I think I shall make a t-shirt expressing my support. I was going to make one for Nader saying Ralphi-Poo 2008!
Still might, but after tonight Gar Gar Trumps the Nades!

Sad sappy blog gone on a rant,,,

2007-09-14T06:11:00.000-07:00

Oh my, July 5th really? That was the last time I posted? Well then... I will try to be more on top of this. I will be getting my very own lap top soon. Catch up to all of you guys that are so Hi-Tech and all. Rosie ( my G4 Mac ) is on her last legs. I can't download even one more song or picture on her, because she is just full and tired. I have had her though now since 2001. She has perhaps been with me through the most happy and painful times of my life. Now I am not saying that she will be tossed aside like trash. I will still love her and use her as she sees fit ( it is her call now ). I will more than likely try to archive the 9-12 thousand photographs I have on her, and 4 years of design work. I must say though she is holding up strong with my musical ventures. She will play me sweet tunes now of Sam Prekop, Running with Scissors, Tommy Waits, The Beatles, or whomever I will be listening to on repeat all night long without fail. Much to my room mates discontent. No it is not that they can hear that I am playing sweet music to keep my inner psyche company while I sleep, it just bothers them that I waste the energy. While my hippie tree hugging side ( which is a significant side) agrees I really don't find it a waste of energy. If I wake up at 2 a.m. and there is no music garenteed I will be up for a larger more significant amount of time then if there was. And it helps me dream. I may be bitter here, but there are certain activities that are going at a constant rate here involving a certain masive television that I am sure takes up far more energy than Jerry Garcia ever could during the wee hours singing to me or trains, or that Jose Gonzales ever could while strumming his sweet guitar so I can rest easy.

Wow, and I was going to write about my long lost friends scattered allover this world, making me proud to be able to call them my friends and here I wasted it with my defense against my energy consumption...

So I will leave you with this, what makes things a waste of energy and what makes things a good investment of energy? Is it the amount of energy consumed? Is is the final product that the energy creates? Is it the way that we get the energy or how long it will be sustained for, or is it the simple selfish gratification that we tend to rate everything on in todays world. Yes, I could survive with out listening to music every second of my day, but then again, could other people survive truly survive with out there PS3's or there someday Electric Cars, or someday could people survive with out there electric coffee makers and make it on the stove, or heaven forbid could we even survive with out the use of this thing in my lap. My room mates computer, sitting here, plugged into the wall, taking energy all of the time...

Darn it, I've ruined it now, I officially am going to over process what is worth the electricity and what is not, I think I will make a chart or at least a survey!

Sorry.

Wow, what happened?

2007-07-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, so there I was Saturday night arriving to my new palce with Brenna and Katie. The house is grand with red paint and creme trim. One pourch in the front a deck in the back and a balcony off of my room. A couple of hours later the walktrough is done, the guys have moved out and it is ours. We precede to move Brenna and Katies items in, and I go home to crash one more time three flights up on my couch in my shoebox. I wake up on sunday morning finding myself surrounded by boxes and trash. I am moving again I say to myself, again. 5 times in a year and a half, not even a year and a half, a year and 2 months. 5 times. But I brave through it, hoping that this will be the last for a while, and fearing also that it will last for a while. When you have moved this much, you get used to it, and a year lease I must say is kind of scary, this coming from the queen of commitment.
So I moved in, I have a lovely room, and great roommates. I have a new buddy Paul, who lives up in the tower, (3rd floor) and we are having a great time together, I have beautiful people around me, i have my cats who are suprised and shoked by the size of the place, and I have a new found life, that will be twisting and turning this next year...

Ah well, enough about me...
I will have fourth of july pictures up soon, good times, good times.

The Jury is in....

2007-06-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

Though many people dissagree with statements I make about this mans physical appearance I am here to prove that Chuck Klosterman knows what he is doing, and he reaks of it. and that he is indeed not dorky looking but a very handsome individual....

So yeah.

Hot Fuzz and the Peter...

2007-06-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

ah yes, my friend Peter Harold Quist... Had a heavy task on his shoulders tonight...
How to cheer up an overly dramatic emotional girl who is really pissed off...
Well
1) he took me to Chipotle
and 2) We saw the Hot Fuzz....
OH MY! Hot fuzz, what a movie. I feel it bubbling up in my gut that this will hold the test of time in both honor and vigilance and strength to some of my favorites such as big trouble in little china. I feel it will be able to teach me lessons of independence and strength in my favorites such as Funny Girl and Sense and Sensibility. I feel it will show me how to laugh and be comforted in any mood such as the delights of Mash and Calamity Jane. I feel it will comfort me in times of loneliness and sadness such as while you were sleeping and pride and prejudice have.
In short, I believe this movie has made it into my top ten. And for anyone who knows me I have to see that something can show the test of time through only one method... Repitition.

It is true my top song on I Tunes " Blood of Eden" by Peter Gabriel has been played over 5,000 times, I have atched big trouble in little china more times than I can count, and I can't tell you how many times I have eaten Red Hot Blues with Tofutti Sour Supreem. I like comfort I like things to be stapels. Items I can turn to and they will be there for me like they have always been. Supportive, satisying, company, and well me....

So Here is to Hot Fuzz, may you succeed in bringing me many years of comfort and bliss, never ending humor and gore, and peace that there are still things in this world I can count on, like my movies, music, food, family and my dear friends.

Exhibit A

2007-06-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

Yes... Well the pictures are now here... Evidence that I did not just have two beers the night of the wedding...And evidence that the time I was having was well, influenced from outside sources. And someone tell me why my friends thought it would be fun to have a photo documentary of me and Aaron talking all night? All in All though it was fantastic...

The battle has just begun

2007-06-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

See if you can rip yourself away!!! We all mus thank Dan for showing me this link...

I'm at it again...

2007-06-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

MORE BABIES!!!! This adorable one is JD. He is just about 3 months and has more personality than you can shake a stick at...
We had a fun time with these.

I do what with this can?

2007-06-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

My eyes are closed, but I'm awake. I hear someone knock on the door of the hotel room. Dan goes to open it and my father is on the other side "Is she o.k.?"
And I think to myself why would he ask that, of coarse I am o.k. and then it all came rushing back to me... Last night. or should I say what I remember of last night.
I left for Brainerd around 3 on Thursday afternoon. I got batteries for my boom box and listened to one Brandi Carlile song the whole way... Those of you who know me, this is not unusual. Once I had arrived and took a glance at my room, very nice by the way we went out to celebrate my cousin Joes 21st Birthday. I was a sober cab, so I got to see everyone else get drunk and poor joe get sick. I wake up on Saturday and start it off right with a sierra nevada. Hell bent on making it my night or day really to drink. After lounging for a while I got ready to go to the grooms dinner. My cousing nick was to be married on saturday, and I did the invites so I got to go to the dinner. Promptly apon my arrival I see Aaron. Aaron is nicks cousing on his fathers side, I am his cousin of his mothers side. Aaron grew up one block away from me, once I said hi and hugged and started the stories I knew I had a drinking buddy for the rest of my weekend. And I did. We started at the grooms dinner with 2 free drinks Me = Brandy Manhattans Aaron = Scotch? Whisky? I don't know that is not the point. We started. They also served us free wine. I am feeling it at this point, so I decide to go to the liqour store in preperation for the night. In this trip I decide to get some tequilla, this was mistake #1. My saviors came up during this time. Dan Ashley and Peter. They came for the weekend, obviously. I met them at the hotel and we started to embark on a mission to find said bonfire that was being prepared. We found it, and I am know two beers the wiser. I find Aaron, and we were one for one the whole night. I am ecstatic. I professed to everyone that aaron is my age, over and over, and get my dad to drink out of the tequilla bottle with me, then witnessed him down jag... It was great. Then it happened. Cans of budwiser with a hole in the bottom for me to beer bomb with... Aaron got his down like a champ, and there I was beer every where and 5 minutes later the beer was finished. And so was I...
That is just friday night. I got up saturday and went for breakfast and I kid you not this is what I ate - French toast Mozzerlla sticks and a butterscotch malt. Feeling pretty horrible right about now... So I do what most people would do, I start drinking again. Mimosa time. Little did I know Aaron had the same idea. he was down at his room starting on the 9 beers he would consume before arriving to the wedding. O.k. so I'm there, I got to the wedding. It was beautiful, I mean gorgeous. It really was. And I couldn't be happier or prouder of the two of them. But back to the drinking since for some reason that is the focus of this entry and not eternal love and devotion... Thats right my priorities are strait. So I plop down at the table with aaron. And we start our mission of anihilation right. He had 6 beers down and I had a whisky sour 2 glasses of wine and a beer done by the time we finished eating. At this point I see peter coming with a brown paper bag... He had delivered Jose. Mistake #2, not on his part I asked him to bring it. So there was free beer there and I wasn't the biggest fan of it, but I will drink for free thank you very much. There are a few things I remeber about last night. The hokey Pokey, cigars with the grooms father, and falling. I remeber falling twice, but it has been brought to my attention I fell 4 times... On the dance floor. What I don't remeber is pretty much the rest of the whole evening. I approached an uncle who I always felt didn't like me, and made him tell me he loved me. Smoking almost an entire cigar, I don't smoke its not a good thing, I have this small thing called asthma. I just wanted to see what the big deal was about, and Jeremy let me try a little too much. Dancing. I don't remember it, but I guess I did a lot of it. Getting an odools beer and realizing it was non alcholic. Knocking it over in disgust that it wasn't going to get me drunker. Picking it back up and peeling the label off and sticking it in the bottle ashamed to have it around me. I don't remeber leaving getting in the car, getting into the hotel anything. I have never missed a night like that before. And I got to say I am a little anoyed that I did. But it was my own fault. Little did I know My brother was booty dancing all night with the girls, and Aaron was on the floor doing dance moves... I mean actually on the floor laying down. Later my brother will run up and down outside the hotel rooms yelling at 3 a.m.
I am sore, and I am tierd. But it was great really. My cousin is married to a beautiful woman, and I got to spend time with my family in a way I never have before... Drunk. but I got to get to know people better, and relax and have fun. I would do it again anytime...Especially if I ever have Aaron around me again, its on.
Before I left they reasured me that it was o.k. that I didn't remember because they got everything on video.

Why didn't some one...

2007-05-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

Force me over to there house and strap me to there couch for one hour a week so I could watch sex in the city the first time around. I was one of those... " Oh sex in the city, no thanks I'm not a girly girl", "Oh cosmos, please give me my manhatan, or at least a mans drink", " You saw those high heels where? Sex and the city? I hate high heels"... The list goes on.
But I have seen all of two, yes that is two episodes on TBS yes that is TBS and I am in love. Maybe it is because I am older. Yes I was the ripe old age of 17 when they started. Maybe it is because I am at the dating stage of my life. I don't know but it just clicks.
I can't relate to there fasion sense, or there hair or there make-up, but the issues they are all struggling with. There insecurities. I understand, I have them to. I talk out loud when it is on, like I am the fifth girl sitting at the table with them, understandably ordering scotch on the rocks though instead of the cosmopolitan. I absolutley can not relate to there drinking style...
But they have issues, real ones. ITS GREAT!!!! so I may seem behind the game, but that is how I play it. So instead of sleeping like I should I am writting a blog about a sitcom that went on the air 7 years ago, and that I am not just finally seeing... And it doesn't even threaten my standards or intellegence like I thought they would. Wow, I just sounded like janeane Garofalo. I like that to... What to do?

Um...

2007-05-28T20:38:00.000-07:00

I swear this is just a coincidense, coincedeanse, coinsidence???
I swear this was not on purpose....

Pici'nic timin'

2007-05-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, Memorial day... Glorious day to remember the fallen, and to be with the living.
We went on a rad picnic today. Well I thought it was rad. We had to wait about an hour for a grill, and once we got one we had to pretend we had children because there were people there who insisted that you could not use the grills with out having children. Fun in the sun!!! We biked to Lake HArriet and hung out for a while. I even convinced Ashley and Alana and Jeff to go in the water with me... It was great!!!! Well here are some pictures...

Zach and Sarah... I mean Fiona

2007-05-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yep, interview with Zach Galafianakis and Fiona Apple...
It's beautifil, in Zach's home no less...
Artist on Artist: Zach Galifianakis & Fiona Apple

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No I'm not the mother...

2007-05-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

So I promise I won't go baby crazy. I just really love them, and well... I just really love them.
Went over to my cousins house to take some newborn photos... Here for your baby enjoyment.

New Burns and Babes

2007-05-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

Made anew one, this one is going to the brenna... She asked for one with color...
Though I am prefering to burn with out color, this one is bright... and well...
colorful.... It is called "Blue underam and What will come out no more? "

And then My Baby cousin Jessie had a baby on Tuesday named Jackson... And they are both gorgeos, Wait gorgeus, gorgus, gorgous??? I have no idea... But they are both beautiful and I couldn't be more proud... Here they are :)

He'Brew

2007-05-17T05:21:00.000-07:00

I tried a new beer last night, a pomegranate ale. It was large and in charge at over 8 % no less.
It was quite nummy, and a treat. It is even kosher, bottled and brewed in the new york of the city kind. You do know that pomegranates are high in antioxidants right??? So why drink Pom now that you can get it in your beer??? Except with Pom you do get a free glass out of it :)

Tommy Waits...

2007-05-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

Is there an antidote? Do I need one? I just can't seem to stop listening to him when I get home, clean ( theoretically) Sleep, eat, read. Everything... Hmmm....
He takes me into this like slow honey like world. Where I feel like I am sitting on my front porch on a wood swing, no neighbors for miles drinking country time lemonade. Or he takes me to the middle of the city, I mean smack dab in downtown. On a corner, with real people, and I feel gruff, and feel like I have armor on, and that I am invincible...
So this is a small obsession right now, I can admit to that...
But how can you not, look at this face ladies and gentlemen look at this face.

I'm not sure

2007-05-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

That i should do this...
I feel like I am giving it too much credit or attention by acknowledging this...
but I have been deamed or deemed how do you spell it? I have been deemed
" Soul Steeling X " not Ex, but X. Wow... and that was soul steeling...
I think I need a good nights sleep to digest this.

On to other things. I watched a movie with my guy pals tonight called what was it.... Oh yes " The Hebrew Hammer". I liked it, so did peet, Daniel and otha thought otherwise. I guess my background being from a perocial private school that taught alot about other relgions made this quite amusing. Dan I think you would like this...

Oh I did the breast Cancer walk yesterday. I was proud to be part of the "Rack and Rollers"
A fifties themed team complete with custom pink visors, pink poms on our socks and stickers. Other teams that were included were "Treasure the chest" They had pirate gear on, and then there was my personal favorite " How the breast was won" They were appropriately in cowboy, I mean cowgirl wear... My Mom walked it as well. Which to some might be nothing, but she was born with out a hip, and what she has in there is practially nothing now, so her waling three miles in support of the women she loves who have this disease was nothing short of impowering.

Well time for beddy bye... Sweet dreams ya'all...

Wow...

2007-05-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

It has been a while hasn't it...
well my good friends Daniel and Ilona sometimes refered to as Danielona have been in town since friday... It has been a whirlwind ever since... Lots of wonderful-ness. Lots of socializing which I am coming to appriciate...Am I tierd? yes, Burn out a little? yes, days seem like a blur? yes, but it is all worth it. Come this August my friend group will take on
nothing short of a demolition. Ashley and Dan move to Wales, Peter moves to Japan, Keegs and Meegs move to portland, where Daniel and Ilona are, and well Dom is lost in california, where I fear he likes being lost. I still feel bitter about the whole damn thing. I know I should be happy for everyone and I sincerly am, it is just that I don't know it is really sad. I suppose this is what it is like when you graduate college. I mean I did but I didn't have the typical 4 years in a dorm thing. It just feels like I spent so much time and love and so did everyone else
and they are all going to the corners of america and the world. It feels it is august 30th
and my parents just informed me that I will be attending a school in west virginia miles away
from all my buddies that I have gone to school with since I was 4. I would sulk then, and I am sulking now. I guess the other thing that gets me is that no one else is, which makes me insecure as hell, and also makes me feel immature, or out of the loop like everyone knows something that I don't. And that I should just get over it, and trust that I will someday figure out what it is everyone else has... Its like when I pretended to go along all these years when anyone discused the Labyrinth... I think I even spelled that wrong. As you all know I am a dork, and being that, I love dorky movies. And this one is out there, the main charecter is even named Sarah.... Everyone assumed I had seen it, and it seemed to me that I should have,
and that I was a moron for not, so I went along with every conversation. PIcking up bits and pieces here and there till I finally knew everything with out seeing it... Or so I thought, I saw it. I didn't know a Damn thing.

So I am going to go with the labyrinth thing here and probably guess that even if I try to go along with everything, and pretend like I know, I never will till I actually just rent the damn movie. In other words, move...

Chicagie

2007-04-26T06:05:00.000-07:00

Planning a trip. Sure its not till july, but a trip just the same.
so I am super pumped. As some of you know
the great cinematic wonder of " While you were sleeping"
takes place in chicago, and I am basing most if not all of
my love for the wind city on that. Since when Calmity
went to go see chicago it was in the what 1800's? Taking a
stab in the dark here. Let me know if I am wrong. Anywho,
if I fall in love with the city there is a good chance I may just go there
for a year and live it up chicago style...
So share the love here on chicago. give me ideas. Because all I am going
to be doing is looking for landmarks I saw in the movie, which
everyone is telling me that most of it is on a set in hollywood....
I am choosing to be romantic and not believe them...
why would the movies lie to me anyways?

2007-04-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

This one is called " Andy told me it's o.k and piano is the ultimate"
I'm not sure about this one yet. I think it is a little to hard to see.
But then again I was going for that....
Anywho. I hope to have a normal blog later. Something with no art in it
maybe?

New Wood burning

2007-04-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

Brand New woodburning, finished today. I have a couple more that
I have done recently I will have to post them soon.

This one is Called
"X marks the spot and why can't I stop drawing trees"

Western Movie night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah!
Cowboys, Bloody Marys, Chili, guys named Virgil, random musicals,
Politically incorect language, and friends...
Western Movie night.
Yes Yes, I know what a concept! We watched Calamity Jane staring none
other than Doris Day and Howard Keel. Beautiful Techni color porudly
presenting the rucus and comotion that come to playing the
baddest ass outlaw in the 50's with beautifully highlighted hair,
and a great waist. All while trying to keep up lyrically with the story at hand.
One must ask oneself in times like these, How can I make feeding the cats into
a 3 part harmony with a soft shoe dance for the chorus?
Then we went on to Tombstone... Enough said!
It was a rockin' good time, I love themes!

Allright boys and girls we are now going to learn about clay.

2007-04-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

So I am about to go to my fist wheel throwing clay happening glaze frenzy
pottery 1 class. Thanks to Minneapolis community education.
So while the funk of this winter was apon me, I thought that there could
be nothing better to get my mind off of negitive thoughts than to take a couple
of classes. I have to be honest I am nervous.
I'm not good with new people. I know this may come a shock :)
And I am even more nervouse when I am learning something that
I don't allready have a nack for. But I am excited. No more with the
days of coil pots! On to the wheel and on to class for me!

portland Pics

2007-04-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

A side ways view of me.. Look I'm in Portland
Cello concert in winery.. Bad pic, but it works

Flowers
More Flowers
And More Flowers
The Grotto
The Train Station... Ah memories
il0na and her job, it's not his dark there
Daniels Toy he flocked
I don't know what this is
A Bridge, and a boat peeing
Daniel and Mr. Potatoe Head

The Living room where I slept

I'm in the Portland now...

2007-04-07T19:02:00.000-07:00

Allrighty, in Portland...
got in late Thursday night, and have been enjoying this
immensly is that how you spell immensely????
Any who. Yesterday it was 75 and gorgeous. Daniel
took me around, we walked for hours. We ate a restaurant called
"old wives tale". And it rocked. Everything was like organic,
brown rice, carob, blah blah blah... Stuff that I can eat is all I'm
sayin'. We walked and walked and walked. They have an ice skating rink
in the middle of there mall...
We went to pick up Ilona at her real design job, that has a real
design office, and has real designers in it... It felt surreal.
Last night we had music night. Much like puke mountain, just
not recorded and more musicians. Daniel played his drum,
Gabe played a wood block drum thing, Issac switched between
bass and cello, Sabrina played guitar, and I played the organ...
It was lovely.
Today it rained in the morning, so I sat out on there back porch
and read. Tea, a blanket, a rocking chair, and a book...
It was amazing. We went on a mass grocery store excursion
today for a party that Daniel and Ilona are throwing tomorow.
and we ate at the lucky Labrador.
A local brewery/sammy place.. Delicious, I can see why
you liked it so much peet.
Tonight we are going to the bhagdad, ( hopefully not by foot pete! )
to see Reno 911...
This all ready has been so wonderful. I needed the break, and the refreshment.
I feel very renewed already and oh so relaxed. The past few months
pain is slowly melting away. And since i got here it is like
I have been on defrost mode...
warm...

Ready To Ramble....

2007-03-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

Because I am...
Though I will spare you all. I just watched Sherry Baby, with my pal Ashley.
Watch it... Maggie, depressing, gritty, and raw....
You know what I think of when I watch movies... Not just hey this is amazing,
or what a crap movie, but I wonder what they and there families think of roles they
take. I kept imagining Peter and Jake sitting on there respective sofas watching this.
And I thought, they must be so proud.
I also remeber thinking this about Ewan McGreggor when he made YOung Adam.
I remember thinking why, and I assumed his wife thought the same.
And then she would ask him why and he would answer brilliantly,
because he is after all, Ewan. After I came to this conclusion I could start watching him
again, and dream... I mean, wait, what did I say?
It's not that he is some phenomanal actor I didnt spell penomonal right did I.
But most of you know most of the time I dont need it. THough I love it... I don't need it.
He tugs on the ol' heart strings. And I like that...
This is coming from a girl who can;t choose between the godfather, lord of the rings, big trouble in little china, Funny Girl, little women, pride and prejudice, and here is the kicker while you were sleeping to be her favorite movie....
Maybe I am a little girly after all...
I told you I was going to rant...
I use this a lot... .... ...
So anywho, that is my thought for tonight. Not seeing the movie through the charecter, the director, the actor. But the people in each one of there lives. And imagining them expiriencing the same thing I am, and what they may have thought at each moment...

Yes I over think... but I like to.

The Ties my friends...

2007-03-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

Have been cut. I know this is criptic. But nevertheless
They are severed and done.

2 things really quick...

2007-03-21T05:51:00.001-07:00

So I'm an idiot ( shocker )
There is a way to set it so that anyone can comment, not just users...
So comment away Anyone... Really...go for it, no one is stopping you here.

And second rode my bike to work this morning... Lets see how long I can keep this up...
I'm that dorky one you always see going 5 times slower than the pedestrians...
Oh yeah... Hot biker right here.

My name is Molly

2007-03-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

So there is this lady named Vera.
She has worked for Aveda longer than I have been alive.
We have known each other for 4 years now, and in the last oh say
6 months she has taken to calling me Molly....
At first it took me off gaurd, didn't know what to say.
But I didn't correct her. Where I grew up you didn't correct your elders...
They have lived long enough to say or think what they please as long as
it does not offend you.
Now It is a normal occurance. I walk in " Hello Molly", I go home " See ya tomorow Molly
Everyone here knows that to Vera I am Molly.
I don't know what happened. for the first 3 and a half years I was sarah,
but now I seem to be the great Molly... I'm kind of liking this new identity.
Maybe the next person I meet I will tell them my name is Molly...
Well maybe not

The joys of drunk dialing

2007-03-19T13:24:00.001-07:00

Yep,
Every name damn near in my cell phone. Pretty much. St. Patricks day hit,
and hit hard. Between Mr. Jameson and The red dragon's sweet punch,
well the night was a sucess!

Productivity = Fun

2007-03-13T16:01:00.001-07:00

So I signed up for a couple of classes in comuunity ed..
Oh yeah I'm going to do things... About freakin' time!
I signed up for a potter class thanks to inspiration from
a Mr. Randall Anderson, and a meditation and spiritual
healing class due to inspiriation from...well....
Anywho, I am super pumped, I start after i get back from
Portland. Rockin things coming up let me tell ya...

My new place is getting better. Not that is was bad, it was
just hard to get used to. But that is the theme of this winter...
Change, Transistions, and hard to get used to...

Things are feeling a little smoother, softer, and stabeler ( is that a word? )

don't you feel like cryin'

2007-03-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

Solomon Burke is singing " Cry To Me" On the radio right now...
any of you ladies out there, and any man who has loved a lady before and has had to watch dirty dancing are familiar with this musical piece...
Ah yes...Baby in the corner... What if she was on the outside part of the table, then what would he great Johnny have said, nobody puts baby on the north eastern section of a round table???
Inconsiquential I suppose...
Anywho, it made me misty, because the answer is yes, I do feel like crying... and there is no one here saying cry to me...
Now before we all jump to conclusions, I am not sitting here sad because I don't have some dude's shoulder to cry on, also inconsiquential...
My friend today said something so out of charecter, so completely harsh I haven't been able to let it go. I have never had someone make me feel like complete dirt in less than two seconds, especially when I haven't done anything wrong...
Was she having a bad day? Of coarse, and it is o.k.
I just want to sit back and think of how stress, sadness, greif, depression, anger, the list goes on, how they affect how we affect other people... Is this the wrong affect, amd I supposed to type effect????
And then again, what happiness, joy, peace, laughter, again list can keep going effects how we effect people...
Just another one of those things to think of...
I'm going to go make some tea, and read...
Any thoughts or expiriences are so welcome... I would like to not feel so isolated...
Even thought this is not the first or the last... We just all know how wonderfully
sensitive I am...
10*4

The Land of Ports

2007-03-09T05:21:00.001-08:00

It looks like I will be heading to Portland in April...
I miss my friends, and since they can't make it out here this year
I am going to them...
It is going to be so nice to see women with out make up on again,
and wearing awesome dresses that they found at some sort of second hand place...

I liked it the first time. Wish I had gotten to see more, but it was
a great time.

I need a vacation, I need to get out of MPLS for a while...
Sometimes we have to get away from things we even love,
just to love them more, so don't worry city ( like it could )
I will be back with full force!

Embarking...

2007-03-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

Did i spell that right?
Anywho... first blog, we will see how long I can keep this up...
Just moved this last weekend, I will post pictures when I can
probably in the next couple of days...
trying to get everythign situated, not only in the apartment,
but everywhere else to... It is going good... Sorry this will be a
weak first blog, but as soon as I get into the swing of things this
will get better and better... just wait till the first late night rant!
Oh by the way I type dislexic...And with incorrect spelling, sorry
it is just something that comes with the territory of being me...
My friends and family rock so much... I got so much help from
everyone this last weekend... And those that couldn't be there
called me! It felt awesome to know that people I love love me,
and will help me through anything... and they have.
So just trying to enjoy life right now... looking for classes to take
and new adventures... Im feeling really good and optimistic right now...
However I am getting a bit restless, need somethign exciting soon...
I'm sure I can muster up something!!!